Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was, "This is less work and less involving." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML
Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML
Today, my husband walked in on me while I was masturbating and watching porn (yes women do it too). Now he thinks I’m unsatisfied with him or our sex life. All I wanted was a quick release. FML
Today, my husband told me that he is done having sex because it eats up his online gaming time. FML
Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML
Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML
Today, I realized that my husband's preferred sexual activities not only don't require me to take off my clothes, but go much better for him when I don't. He doesn't get why this makes me self-conscious about getting naked in front of him. FML
Today, my husband has recently discovered prostate play. He is now using my sextoys to pleasure himself and not telling me until after. He doesn't see the problem. FML
Today, like every other day for the past two weeks, my husband was not in the mood for sex. He told me this while masturbating. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating. I thought it was hot and asked if I could join in. He threw me a disgusted look and screamed that I’d ruined the whole mood. Now we’re both unsatisfied. FML
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Top comments
yourlifesfucked 0
tell him thats cuz ur hand only has to move 2 inches.
LoginUnknown 0
Maybe he isn't the one doing something wrong. She might not contribute in any way and he's just not that into humping a lifeless body.
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Comments (72)
jillz 0
haha! I bet he's right! f his life
chuchurocket 4
all men do this, it's not really an fml
imbatman_fml 0
Invest in ways he may want to do it. it can't always be, spend an an hour in the kitchen just to be in the oven for a few minutes.
RedJester23 6
you probobly don't...err..... "entertain" him enough in bed. or he's gay. either way it sounds like you guys need to have a talk.
ElegantSadist 0
apparently the hand was better than you and far less annoying
Blue_Coconuts 7
He's just practicing!
responses 0
op, are you disgustingly ugly?
thor89 0
His hand is a better lover
gorbeast 0
what a legend
paigeatsflesh 11
YDI for being bad in bed. have someone teach you then get back to him.
mfmylifesrsly 30
OP while it does suck I bet you don't go down on your husband and shit. it you want him to fulfill your needs you need to fulfill his!
subrosa1 0
Jill is a mans best lover.
hotscar 3
you can have a taste of some of my meat
WYK_fml 0
lmao yes #63
Ms_Jessie22 8
Well if he's using his hand than he knows exactly how to please himself. My diagnosis is a lack of communication between you two on your sexual desires.
JaeC 0
I'm wit u #1 FHL LMAO
Blur009er 0
Haha or maybe he's gay
Melkezidech 0
More like "****** his hand".
woofis 0
well then get into bed and get some! take control
Sovcomflot 2
Completly you fault. I can't imagine what he must go thru to get you satisfied just so he can get a little. you selfish bitch. fyl for not being what he needs poor miserable bastard feels his hand is better than you.
cyl3x 0
Well ya know, he IS a guy. We sorta have to do it every once in a while. I mean, you obviously weren't giving him any.
Austino713 0
hold on a sec since when do people in south africa have internet omg! now we gotta listen to people who starve FML look at OPs location!
Peacemaker9 7
lol that's ******* funny man I couldn't stop laughing for so long btw it's ******* gross though but a guy needs his pleasure from time to time and us guys will do anything not saying that I would, **** that I got my pride no need to get rid of it like that
samantha_durano 6
lol, #52.
liljeron 0
what a champ
ibphizznout 0
listen hear red...as long as a man has hands and access to his manhood he will touching it . A woman can give him all the sex possible and guys will be guys and jerk
RufusCade 7
#28 - SO true...
stephytalbot 0
your harsh!!! just because you can't get any doesn't mean this person can't! what makes you think it's the girls fault anyway? lots of men have **** or masturbation addictions and that could be what's happening. obviously she has been trying to get some otherwise she wouldn't have brought it up to him the lack of sex. grow up you sound like your 12 and new to the world of sex
ZeusBeDubsteppin 24
she tried talking to him about not having sex and then found him jerking off so it doesn't say she's unwilling to put out. she could be really hard to please, could be annoying, or he could be a dick, or if he doesnt want it with her he could be cheating or he could have found out she was cheating. there's a lot of things it could be but we don't know because he didn't tell us.
Stiggy626 25
sometimes a dude just wants to get off girl. It's not an insult haha more like, "I can do this in a minute and a half and be done." that's like saying a girl can't ********** if she has a guy...
thor89 0
His hand is a better lover
cyberotter 0
shirly is a lovely hand... and entertaining
nmillamane 0
true.
ImaginaryFoe 1
But it could always use an assist. Have your mouth mind the stepchildren while their big brother is busy.
yourlifesfucked 0
tell him thats cuz ur hand only has to move 2 inches.
drewbell 0
WIN! ^^
massagenist 0
you need to put out or get out bitch.
SLKBlack96 5
tsk
givit2me 0
tell him he must be doing something wrong if he likes playing with himself more than having intimate relations with you...
LoginUnknown 0
Maybe he isn't the one doing something wrong. She might not contribute in any way and he's just not that into humping a lifeless body.
GinandJenkem 0
YDI for being weak and living in South Africa. Move to the US or EU.
nomnommonster 0
What's wrong with South Africa?
smartman136 8
lots of stuffz
GinandJenkem 0
Nelson Mandela, 'nuff said.
freelove_fml 2
What's wrong with Nelson Mandela, you racist ************?
nomnommonster 0
Point goes untaken. anyways, you said move to the states. George Bush, 'nuff said.
ndiesal 0
Barack Obama, 'nuff said.
xxdakotaxx 0
I like cereal nuff' said
flufffypants 0
obesity over 94% nuff' said Canada ftw
Resquall 0
After 75 people put the apostrophe on the wrong side, 'nuff said.
limyechan 0
#6 ydi.. the EU?? the European union is failing as a whole and south Africa is in a better situation than the EU.
mirkatsboss 0
deucher
do20ss 4
You should bang him, like **** star style. You prolly only do it the way you wanna do it. You should give, it's not always about receiving!!
Taylorterrorrawr 0
Haha, pormstar style :] -snicker-
freelove_fml 2
snicker as a pornstar? hmmmmm....
nessalujin 0
Sure
FYLDeep 26
It's easier for him to fantasize about men when he's not with you.
KangNaqi 0
Hahaha. unless OP looks like a man... :o
chloeginger 0
win ^^
fisheatsbear 6
im thinking that op just isn't good enough in bed