Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got super psyched up about a landscaping project my wife denied last year that she's finally game for, which will both fix a water leak into the house, and make our backyard look amazing. I took a week of PTO, then 20 minutes later my wife called to tell me a tree in our back yard fell over. We're also probably getting divorced. FML
Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML
Today, I finally noticed that my wife only shaves her bush when she goes on "business trips." FML
Today, my husband finally got round to cutting down a tree limb in our front yard after months of me begging him. It fell on me. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML
Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, the guy I hooked up with last weekend texted me that I needed to "landscape my front lawn." FML
Today, my assmunch neighbor snitched on me and told my wife I was bringing my girlfriend home to sleep over while she worked her job during the graveyard shift. All because I’d forgotten to return his lawnmower. FML
Today, I woke up and opened my curtains to see my gardener up a ladder in front of my window tending to the plants growing up the side of the wall. This would've been fine if his ballsack wasn't hanging out his shorts. FML
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Top comments
arcadekid1 9
Perhaps you should return the favour and cut his grass!
brittanyayy 8
I mean, if he was REALLY doing his job, it would've been your bushes as well.
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Comments (100)
cpucooler 4
I hope he at least did a pro job of it with a Landing Strip or a Chaplin or the infamous Lightning Bolt.
Roxas2898 4
Some real advice? I'd divorce her. There's no more trust man.
Gunnarr 12
Haha praise the prenup INDEED! Well done, sir.
killerofbabies 4
Maybe he can dig you a hole big enough for him and your wife
theburninator 1
So he just cut her bush? What's wrong with that? Just kidding op divorce the bitch asap cheating is unforgivable in any situation
Austyn57 1
ass whoopin time
kitkattgirl 2
This sounds too cliche to be real. The landscape/gardener and the wife fooling around behind the husband's back. I call BS on this.
MacJ44 3
Ew she needed to shave that shit anyway!
marramrammar 2
Cut bait! Letter her survive on a lawn boy significant other! Next time mow your own grass ;-)
reimichele 8
OP your username is absolutely smashing. I'm sorry that happened to you though. It's crazy how people don't seem to be thinking about how their bad decisions hurt others.