Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got super psyched up about a landscaping project my wife denied last year that she's finally game for, which will both fix a water leak into the house, and make our backyard look amazing. I took a week of PTO, then 20 minutes later my wife called to tell me a tree in our back yard fell over. We're also probably getting divorced. FML
Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML
Today, I finally noticed that my wife only shaves her bush when she goes on "business trips." FML
Today, my husband finally got round to cutting down a tree limb in our front yard after months of me begging him. It fell on me. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML
Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, the guy I hooked up with last weekend texted me that I needed to "landscape my front lawn." FML
Today, my assmunch neighbor snitched on me and told my wife I was bringing my girlfriend home to sleep over while she worked her job during the graveyard shift. All because I’d forgotten to return his lawnmower. FML
Today, I woke up and opened my curtains to see my gardener up a ladder in front of my window tending to the plants growing up the side of the wall. This would've been fine if his ballsack wasn't hanging out his shorts. FML
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Top comments
arcadekid1 9
Perhaps you should return the favour and cut his grass!
brittanyayy 8
I mean, if he was REALLY doing his job, it would've been your bushes as well.
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Comments (100)
perdix 31
Wouldn't that be a good thing for you? Or are you one of these guys who likes the big hairy muffs featured in 1970's-era ****?
emag_eht 18
You know some people don't mind it.
loserboii 11
The mighty mighty jungle.
bhai33 9
Fkin wives eh
SApprentice 34
34- I just read that in the voice of the darker moose from that kid's movie Brother Bear.
LuckyLynx7732 5
Perhaps you should give him a hair cut as well, real close to the shoulders.
Arcangel196 0
You weak boy stand up for yourself
laden_swallow09 35
Taking full advantage of the prenup he and the then-soon-to-be-wife agreed upon isn't weak. That's thinking and planning ahead. Check yosef befo' you wreck yosef, homie.
jaycooter 0
If you had done this for your wife she wouldn't need someone else to take care of it. YDI
Steve95401 49
I hope the landscaper didn't use a weed whacker to trim her bush.
DuRpY 5
I'm guessing that is exactly what OP wish the landscaper had used instead.
Armyranger1322 0
Haha this had me dying
Cainicide 5
Clever. Very, very clever. Fyl
egrudy 9
Damn dude hate that for you, don't let it bring yourself confidence down! Easier said than done but look at it like this. This disaster paves the way to find something real and better. She deserves to be with a gardener. Sounds like a downgrade choosing your employee
Quest_ 13
Don't worry mate, her pubic hair will grow back in no time!! At least he didn't **** her!
macboy1234 1
You don't know that