Today, I found out that my very expensive and beautiful smelling perfume attracts wasps. Whenever I go out, wherever I am, I am followed by multiple wasps. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the weather was nice so I decided to eat outside. I quickly found out that my new, expensive hair conditioner attracts bees. Lots of bees. FML
Today, as I was sitting on my terrace, I was wearing neither bright colors, nor any perfume, yet two bees seemed convinced that I must've been some type of flower and persistently tried to figure out where I was hiding my nectar. FML
Today, I discovered I'm allergic to the new perfume I bought and now I smell like a hospital. FML
Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML
Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML
Today, there were some wasps getting in my bedroom from a hole in the frame of my window. I went outside with some spray and took out their entrance. What I didnt know is that when you spray wasps, they go the other direction. I now have 60+ wasps flying around my bedroom. FML
Today, whilst out on a walk with the dogs, I decided to explore a different part of the woods. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my bum. Then another. And another. I realised it was wasps and ran. I've been stung 11 times and have to go back tomorrow for the coat I dropped. FML
Today, I was going to set up my air conditioner in the window. As I opened up the window, I must have disturbed a wasp nest, because a dozen wasps flew in and several of them stung me. The rest are now somewhere in my house with my terrified girlfriend. FML
Today, I was walking to work when I saw an empty pop can. Angry at whoever left it, I kicked it out of the way. Turns out it wasn't empty; it was filled with hornets. I had to run 2km to work while being attacked by a giant swarm of wasps. FML
Today, I found out I was allergic to bees, the hard way, at my wedding. FML
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Top comments
DGross 8
What a buzzkill
thekillerwhokill 0
Then dont wear it!!
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Comments (92)
zackkmann21 0
return it..
mockingjay_fml 0
uhmm ... don't wear it then ?
killpro 0
I like how everyone replying to 1 is saying the exact same thing as he said. Dumb commenting system.
FMLsOhilarious 6
Then stop ******* wearing it...plain and simple.
bigbadtim 7
When ever you wear it, put some Off on as well. You'll keep the bugs away, and the smell combination of the two will keep everybody else away. Win, win.
MitchMD 0
You could do the obvious an not use it any more or you could carry around some raid
TheOptimist 0
Continue to wear it OP, and befriend the wasp colonies of your block. Then expand to the colonies of the city. You figure out the rest. You are now on your way to conquering the world.
Freeze_fml 17
You're* a ******* retard.
Sonechka 0
Why care? It's autumn and soon the wasps will be no more. So just use the parfum during cold months - plain and simple.
iwadasn 33
Logic on fmylife! Amazing!
FyourLIFEdotCOM8 0
ydi for spending a lot of money on perfume, but maybe you should return it. or sell it on eBay??