Today, I found out that my very expensive and beautiful smelling perfume attracts wasps. Whenever I go out, wherever I am, I am followed by multiple wasps. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the weather was nice so I decided to eat outside. I quickly found out that my new, expensive hair conditioner attracts bees. Lots of bees. FML
Today, as I was sitting on my terrace, I was wearing neither bright colors, nor any perfume, yet two bees seemed convinced that I must've been some type of flower and persistently tried to figure out where I was hiding my nectar. FML
Today, I discovered I'm allergic to the new perfume I bought and now I smell like a hospital. FML
Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML
Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML
Today, there were some wasps getting in my bedroom from a hole in the frame of my window. I went outside with some spray and took out their entrance. What I didnt know is that when you spray wasps, they go the other direction. I now have 60+ wasps flying around my bedroom. FML
Today, whilst out on a walk with the dogs, I decided to explore a different part of the woods. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my bum. Then another. And another. I realised it was wasps and ran. I've been stung 11 times and have to go back tomorrow for the coat I dropped. FML
Today, I was going to set up my air conditioner in the window. As I opened up the window, I must have disturbed a wasp nest, because a dozen wasps flew in and several of them stung me. The rest are now somewhere in my house with my terrified girlfriend. FML
Today, I was walking to work when I saw an empty pop can. Angry at whoever left it, I kicked it out of the way. Turns out it wasn't empty; it was filled with hornets. I had to run 2km to work while being attacked by a giant swarm of wasps. FML
Today, I found out I was allergic to bees, the hard way, at my wedding. FML
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Top comments
DGross 8
What a buzzkill
thekillerwhokill 0
Then dont wear it!!
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Comments (92)
sourgirl101 29
Maybe it was a gift and there is nothing wrong with smelling nice for yourself. (: OP it looks like you're going to have to wear it when it's not bug season. Or perhaps only at night. I'm not sure if warps are out at night. I've never seen them out past dusk.
UtterCatastrophe 4
Then don't wear it, idiot.
debbiess 0
Put that perfume on at night only? That's a bummer!
nintoreo 0
haha, you should totally tame the wasps and make them pets, and you can bee the queen wasp and make all those wasps your bitches and body guards haha so if anyone pisses u off, you can just like point to the person and clap your heels together 3 times and the wasps would attack them lol!
lalagurl5 0
its imposs to tame a bug. its not like they can understand u or listen to anything u say. and its more like collect them in a jar and when u get POed hav the perfume and spray it on whoever is pissing u off (make sure u hav none left on u) and release the wasps
polopony 0
wasps or WASPs? Unless you have issues with Whites and/or Protestants, I don't see an issue here
aardvarkish 17
Damn, I was just thinking how funny it would to see her followed by multiple White Anglo-Saxon Protestants.
ItsMOMnotMUM 0
how can a perfume be beautiful?
Tequilamockngbrd 7
If you're going to break it down that way, the majority of the things that we spend money on are 'useless.' That doesn't make us like them any less. People buy things like that because those things make them happy. What's so wrong about that (other than the risk that you might attract wasps wherever you go)?
Evee359 0
your a ******* retard 4
devonchr 0
haha yes to 16 exactly
lalagurl5 0
OP if u hv a problem with it than here r a few options below: 1.Wear it in the winter 2.Wear it at night 3.Dont wear it or make use of it 4.Sell it to a friend who u would get a good laugh out of watching them be chased. Hope this helps and good luck buying future perfumes! (Dont buy one with any nectar or honey in it...it might attract bees)