Today, I found out that my very expensive and beautiful smelling perfume attracts wasps. Whenever I go out, wherever I am, I am followed by multiple wasps. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the weather was nice so I decided to eat outside. I quickly found out that my new, expensive hair conditioner attracts bees. Lots of bees. FML
Today, as I was sitting on my terrace, I was wearing neither bright colors, nor any perfume, yet two bees seemed convinced that I must've been some type of flower and persistently tried to figure out where I was hiding my nectar. FML
Today, I discovered I'm allergic to the new perfume I bought and now I smell like a hospital. FML
Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML
Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML
Today, there were some wasps getting in my bedroom from a hole in the frame of my window. I went outside with some spray and took out their entrance. What I didnt know is that when you spray wasps, they go the other direction. I now have 60+ wasps flying around my bedroom. FML
Today, whilst out on a walk with the dogs, I decided to explore a different part of the woods. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my bum. Then another. And another. I realised it was wasps and ran. I've been stung 11 times and have to go back tomorrow for the coat I dropped. FML
Today, I was going to set up my air conditioner in the window. As I opened up the window, I must have disturbed a wasp nest, because a dozen wasps flew in and several of them stung me. The rest are now somewhere in my house with my terrified girlfriend. FML
Today, I was walking to work when I saw an empty pop can. Angry at whoever left it, I kicked it out of the way. Turns out it wasn't empty; it was filled with hornets. I had to run 2km to work while being attacked by a giant swarm of wasps. FML
Today, I found out I was allergic to bees, the hard way, at my wedding. FML
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Top comments
DGross 8
What a buzzkill
thekillerwhokill 0
Then dont wear it!!
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Comments (92)
justin_brdfrd 0
don't use that shit no more bitch
bekdebekah 0
sell sell sell!
Poepiepiesie 3
Wear it in the winter. Wasps are dead you are attractive, everyone happy.
yeahreally 6
lol wear it sparingly
sallen0046 4
So don't wear it when wasps are out. Tell the store your purchased it from and return it for a refund. Perfume really should have died out with the up-rise of daily bathing, anyway. So few people use it as the accent it's supposed to be.
aclosecall 0
16 had it right
saywhaaat_01 0
uhhh then don't wear the perfume ... ?
Matu 4
Psst. OP. If you don't want wasps following you don't wear it. Sell it to a poor sucker friend and watch her run.
DisappearingRose 18
Wear it in winter.
sallen0046 4
Unless OP doesn't bathe on a regular basis, it's fairly useless. We no longer perform the cleansing rituals or religious ceremonies it was originally created for, and most of the world now bathes on a regular basis and thus no longer has reason drench themselves in to to cover offensive body odor.