Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my stalker is my mom's new boyfriend. FML
Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML
Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of four months. FML
Today, I found out that the person who has been stalking me has also been stalking someone else. I got upset. It seems it took being stalked to make me feel good about myself. FML
Today, I found out that my current girlfriend has dated all of my friends at one time or another. FML
Today, I found out the identity of the pervert who's been staring at me through my bedroom window in the late hours of the night. My parents and I decided to set out a trap for 'him' instead of reporting to our local cop. Turns out, we caught my 37 year-old neighbor in the act. He's the cop. FML
Today, I found out that my 50-year-old ex-husband and the 20-year-old skank he cheated on me with are buying the house next door to me. FML
Today, I found out that my crazy stalker got a crazy stalker too. And she's also stalking me. So basically, I'm in some sort of a stalking triangle. FML
Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML
Today, I discovered that my male coworker, who coincidentally shares my last name, has been telling everyone we're married. I'm 26; he's 58. FML
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Top comments
TheDrifter 24
Call him grampa and cuddle in his lap. I'll bet he has a present for you.
yamatelle 19
What you also didn't know is that he's got binoculars, a box of tissues, and vaseline right next to his window. I would invest in some blinds if I were you.
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Comments (132)
missamazinggg 12
At least you're his only girlfriend;)
iilovecokee 6
He sounds like a little five year old boy who thinks every girl that talks to him is his girlfriend. It's weird how our life comes full circle, it's like our brain is reversing in age.
bree_hehe 0
sadly I know where you r coming from I had an 80 year old man that I worked with tell everyone he had sex dreams about me and he used to email me at night (never happened) make it clear to him that u have no interest in him there is no need to be nice to him just because he is old do not talk to him or make eye contact
crazychicalauren 3
giggity giggty !
YoshiXclusive 0
He could be a fake version of Freddie coogar!
cacb90 5
Just like the old man from family guy.
weirdo22228 4
time for peice in the purse and a rape wistle
taptapa 0
funny ok he is a pervert
WhitneyRuinous 6
I'd hit that. ;D
mattjakon 6
if your name is Natalie that's my grandpa..