Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my stalker is my mom's new boyfriend. FML
Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML
Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of four months. FML
Today, I found out that the person who has been stalking me has also been stalking someone else. I got upset. It seems it took being stalked to make me feel good about myself. FML
Today, I found out that my current girlfriend has dated all of my friends at one time or another. FML
Today, I found out the identity of the pervert who's been staring at me through my bedroom window in the late hours of the night. My parents and I decided to set out a trap for 'him' instead of reporting to our local cop. Turns out, we caught my 37 year-old neighbor in the act. He's the cop. FML
Today, I found out that my 50-year-old ex-husband and the 20-year-old skank he cheated on me with are buying the house next door to me. FML
Today, I found out that my crazy stalker got a crazy stalker too. And she's also stalking me. So basically, I'm in some sort of a stalking triangle. FML
Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML
Today, I discovered that my male coworker, who coincidentally shares my last name, has been telling everyone we're married. I'm 26; he's 58. FML
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Top comments
TheDrifter 24
Call him grampa and cuddle in his lap. I'll bet he has a present for you.
yamatelle 19
What you also didn't know is that he's got binoculars, a box of tissues, and vaseline right next to his window. I would invest in some blinds if I were you.
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Comments (132)
ice723 5
next time you see him flash him...he's not going to be around much longer
jcingram 2
Ya like popsicles...I got a whole lot of them down in the cellar
TayrawrTMD 7
Sugardaddy, for sure
Raheemdplayer 7
He'll be dead in a few years. Don't worry
icic6772 0
I think thats something you should tell the police
myeviltwin 20
Unless he actually tries inappropriate contact or you hear screams comming from his basment. He's probably just a lonely old man. Be nice to him but establish boundries right away. Remember one day you will be old and lonely too (if you live that long). Karma may serve you well if you are kind now.
CuteDumBlonde64 11
Might as well let him think that. He doesn't have a lot of time left in this world.
RubenTheGreek 8
Hes an old man,let him think so,won't hurt anyone. but if i were you i'd check if my door was locked,old man might wanna visit his girlfriend ;)
pfx2_fml 15
Tell him to use the Internet the next time he starts thinking about you
castrosabeast 7
Hey atleast you won't be lonely!