Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML
Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
Today, I learned that my neighbor of 9 years has a kid. I learned this after I knocked down his snowman. FML
Today, we found out why we were getting notes on our door telling us to "move out or else." As my mom works for the government and we have a direct-TV dish on our roof, our neighbor thinks we were sent to listen to his phone calls and read his mind. We were here before he was. FML
Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML
Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML
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Top comments
GeekMaster6000 3
wow. Someone should beat some sense into that kid.
wazzup182FML 3
pick up his shit and rub it in his face!
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Comments (234)
GetPuckedUp 3
take a shit on his doorstep.
inhopesforEandT 0
Hahahahahahahaha I remember that
niralz16 0
you could do the same thing!
JesterMarcus 0
Get a BB gun. Teaching kids is no different than how dogs teach their young, a little nip tells them they did something wrong, and since you can't/shouldn't bite them, nip em with an airsoft gun right in the ass. Though for the parents you might need a higher caliber.
NANDwich 5
If you have a sprinkler, I suggest turning it on if he comes over again and starts squatting.
thecovert 7
So move already!
Zacky_Vengeance 6
Haha! Eric Cartman ftw!
rebekkah123 3
what the hell is a nine year old doing watching south park?!?!
Ownord_fml 10
I started watching south park I was 8. Still, I wasn't dumb enough to take a dump on my neighbor's doorstep ^^
HarrietPotter239 0
/ Same here. I would have had my ass kicked if my parents saw me copying anything from there.
BigKatt 1
clearly the victim here is the 9 year old boy. suffering from a bad neighbor. he just wants a new one!
xMRxLAMAx 0
That kid deserves a trophy :D