Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Vengeance is mine
Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML
Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Don't mind me
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
Spooked
Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
Today, I learned that my neighbor of 9 years has a kid. I learned this after I knocked down his snowman. FML
Today, we found out why we were getting notes on our door telling us to "move out or else." As my mom works for the government and we have a direct-TV dish on our roof, our neighbor thinks we were sent to listen to his phone calls and read his mind. We were here before he was. FML
Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML
Boys will be annoying boys
Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML
Top comments
GeekMaster6000 3
wow. Someone should beat some sense into that kid.
wazzup182FML 3
pick up his shit and rub it in his face!
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Comments (234)
garfield224 0
God I love that show
coling 0
hoooowwdyy hoooo
ussr 1
awesome profile pic
ladiesman665 2
shit on his doorstep?
sonic19951 6
come out at him during his potty moment with a bat screaming "respect my athore-TA!!"
GeneralMotors 23
I love that episode.
frankq555 3
do you live in west nj
Suzumebachi 5
haha! I loved that episode. it's true as well :/
AlexanderFerreri 0
are you thinking of moving tho???
MrChocolateburri 0
i would kick the shit out of that kid. no pun intended…ok, pun sort of intended.