Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML
Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
Today, I learned that my neighbor of 9 years has a kid. I learned this after I knocked down his snowman. FML
Today, we found out why we were getting notes on our door telling us to "move out or else." As my mom works for the government and we have a direct-TV dish on our roof, our neighbor thinks we were sent to listen to his phone calls and read his mind. We were here before he was. FML
Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML
Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML
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Top comments
GeekMaster6000 3
wow. Someone should beat some sense into that kid.
wazzup182FML 3
pick up his shit and rub it in his face!
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Comments (234)
harumph 7
Shitty parents, who lets their 9 YO watch SP anyways? FYL.
HarrietPotter239 0
My parents told me when I was 9,"If you copy anything from South Park you will be an orphan." They did a good job.
dezinspaaace 0
kids of this generation of doomed.
dezinspaaace 0
are*
iLazy 0
An omen of you predicament just came true.
dreamering 16
Get a Doberman and show your neighbor's son how to pet him.
steveakafranxy 7
people who haven't read the previous fml won't get your joke
dreamering 16
Yeah. I'm so worried about this that I can't sleep.
jaesm17 5
I laughed so hard at this that I couldn't sleep.
bingababe 16
Rub his nose in it next time
TraceCase_ 19
Call Caesar Milan to put him in check and if that doesn't work, tell him you'll make him eat his parents.
joshosh420 2
tsst!
imcheerish 0
why was your son watching south park, he is nine years old
snowboarder25 0
wow read again dude..smh. its not his kid.
tnigz 3
read it again retard
dillynf39 3
this site is for AMERICANS
Bobissmall 13
Hahahahaha. I'm sure it is. Just like the whole world and the internet?
DocBastard 40
Oh please let Didi be the mod for this one. Oh PLEASE let Didi be the mod for this one... Or Quite_Insane... Or Sirin...
BlondeRetro 0
WTF.. Americans only?? As opposed to your geographically challenged dumb ass?? Grow up idiot!!
guckylynn 19
wtf is wrong with you?
brianjman14 23
Yeah, that's why it was made by people in FRANCE.
MuhammadsTeenGF 0
Poor parenting FTW!
holstarox 2
love that episode.
brianjman14 23
It's a Jersey thing...