Today, I'm cat sitting for some friends. Their whiskey selection is well curated and top notch. I grabbed a bottle that I thought was the cheapest, I ended getting drunk on a $500 bottle. I’m going to have to fill it with a lesser brand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my niece stole a bottle of whiskey from me to mix with Monster and get drunk with her boyfriend. It was a bottle of 23-year-old Pappy Van Winkle's that cost over $2000. FML
Today, I found out that just because my roommate doesn't buy alcohol, it doesn't mean she isn't stealing mine and slowly replacing it with water. That bottle cost me $150 and was destined to be a present for my best friend, whom I haven't seen in years. FML
Today, I dropped a $400 bottle of wine while trying to get the cork out. FML
Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML
Today, I saw that the wine bottle I couldn't open last night had a big hole in the top from my struggle to open it. It was a screw top. I must've been drunker than I thought last night. FML
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's parents house for dinner. This was the first time I was meeting them, so I bought a $70 bottle of red wine to try and impress them. I tried to be smooth while popping the cork. I did, but the bottle slipped and red wine poured onto their white carpet. FML
Today, my friend found out his girlfriend was cheating on him. He came to talk to me, and I was happy to help him through this tough time… until he drank a bottle of whiskey by himself. He flew into a drunken rage and started punching holes in the wall and throwing furniture. Now my house is wrecked. FML
Today, after cleaning my house, I decided to treat myself with a glass of wine. I poured the wine, set it down, and came back just in time to see my cat push it off the table. I then yelled at her, which scared her so much she pissed on the carpet. FML
Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML
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Top comments
Justkidding100 41
shitty friend you are. how long do you even have to be there to cat sit? not long enough to drink a bottle of whiskey
Ambrily 27
Or maybe you could stop stealing your friends' stuff.
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Comments (8)
Plop 17
Right, because there's no way they'll be able to tell the difference....
RichardPencil 32
No, you don't. Just bury the bottle in the litter box, and leave pamphlets for Cat AA laying around.
Plop 17
That's a flawless plan. Especially since it's a well-known fact that cats love whiskey. After all, they have whiskers.
Justkidding100 41
shitty friend you are. how long do you even have to be there to cat sit? not long enough to drink a bottle of whiskey
Ambrily 27
Or maybe you could stop stealing your friends' stuff.
BurnInDemonFire 39
"Their whiskey selection is well curated and top notch." "I'm going to have to fill it with a lesser brand." Yeah... there's no way they'll possibly notice. Extra failure points if they own a distillery.
TomeDr 25
OR you could be a grown up adult and repay them for the booze you stupidly drank.
jc1015 25
I hope they see this somehow and that you don't get paid for your time on top of having to pay them back. **** their lives for having a thief and a liar as a friend
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Did you even have permission to raid their liquor cabinet? And if you didn't know what you were drinking, that could have been dangerous as well. YDI.