Today, the novelty of shaving a heart into my pubic hair for my wife vanished, when I woke up to find a collection of scabs around my pubes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got the courage to surprise my boyfriend by shaving my pubic region. To my agonizingly painful dismay, the razor sliced through an apparent zit on one of my lips. Now my vagina is bleeding for a whole different reason, and I'm possibly traumatized. FML
Today, after using the bar of soap in the shower to wash my face, I looked down and noticed it was covered in my husband's pubes. FML
Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML
Today, it turned out the razor I used for manscaping wasn't as new and sharp as I'd thought. My entire crotch is now overcome with an unfathomable amount of razor burn. FML
Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML
Today, I realized that the full body wax I got two weeks ago that my wife told me would look sexy doesn't just make me look like a completely hairless ten-year-old boy. The ingrown hairs everywhere now make me look like someone with chicken pox. FML
Today, I shaved my lady bits for the first time to surprise my husband, who I haven't seen in months due to deployment. I ended up with razor burn and my dim-witted husband believes I cheated on him and that it's an STD. Nothing will tell him otherwise. FML
Today, I didn't have plans on shaving my pubic hair. My girlfriend's braces thought otherwise. FML
Today, my boyfriend is coming over. We haven't seen each other for a while so for a surprise, a few days ago, I decided to shave my pubic hair. I've come up in a huge rash that looks like some sort of infection. Not quite the sexy surprise I was hoping for. FML
Today, since we can’t go out due to the quarantine, my wife decided she wanted to shave my back with a razor. Two hours later, I have a sore back and I look like I'm wearing the front half of the worlds ugliest sweater vest. FML
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Top comments
Drigr 9
Men shave hearts into their pubes? What the ****?
WPQ14 15
They've got creams for that, you know. Ouch.
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Comments (123)
WPQ14 15
They've got creams for that, you know. Ouch.
Vert90 11
Well, I think with the heart he was hoping to give HER some cream... If you know what I mean...
ClassyCommando 13
19 - I know what it means, but I want to hear YOU explain it.
DogsPaw 16
No enlighten us. Edit: 29 beat me.
spekledworf 18
I'll hrlp him out. MAKE SEXY TIME
Vert90 11
*******!!!!!!
iliketurdles 7
1, you look like a walker from The Walking Dead. Side note: Darrel is the most awesome redneck, evaarrr!!
xcarxcrashx 9
Ouch isn't even the word. Vomit is my immediate reaction.
caybree 0
#1 and #57, are you two related? I find the undead gene very sexy and fierce.
Jiinxx 8
#1 - your icon.. what the actual ****?
StanSmith_fml 9
You got some spaghetti on your face...
WPQ14 15
Zombies are in this season, apparently.
stevenmx86 8
I bet she was just amazed at how sweet you were to do that for her.. Yeah.. Right...
mrssuarez2011 12
Yeah my thoughts exactly. Like gee thannkkks.
GoW_Chick 15
Hey at least he went through the trouble! some people don't even bother to do things for their significant other, and plus who doesn't like cute corky surprises like that, even though it didn't go completely as planned.
thurjones 6
Corky? Did it autocorrect from some misspelling of quirky?
GoW_Chick 15
Yeah let's go with your assumption... Heh *smacks self in head with stupidity stick*
TrentF13 12
That's a little redundant. I think you've been beat with it already.
21jason 9
Ask your wife to "kiss" it and make it better
Katiekhalifa_fml 28
"Baby, will you please kiss my pube scabs better?" Not really appealing if you ask me.
21jason 9
It's not for her. it's to make him feel Better
BABYPUNCHINGGUY 0
thats going to be a beautiful scar one day OP
Drigr 9
Men shave hearts into their pubes? What the ****?
21jason 9
I shave hearts in my ass hair... You will get "all" the ladies that way
ycrem0n 21
I'd rather shave the F word
21jason 9
24...hmmm I'll be right back
DogsPaw 16
On my arm.
xxxScorpion 1
Is this so surprising? Might as well say you don't know about shrinkage.
mazesm 11
What is shrinkage?
kaengelangeleyes 9
Precisely my reaction lmao. A heart on my boyfriends pubes wouldnt impress me :P
21jason 9
104 you're just to young
lianneg 0
Why would you do that anyway?
ebonyirony 29
I agree. I think affection should be shown you know...not shaved into you. I really doubt thats like a sign of immense love.
rubberduckie94 13
I never knew men trimmed to the extent of shapes in their pubes. Seems a little odd to me.
alexup24 13
You don't get out much do you?
rubberduckie94 13
It just seems a little too frilly for a guy. I guess I like a more rugged type.
MerrikBarbarian 9
All I can think is the lumber jack song now....
Matty1188 6
6 - I'm reading your comments in Kermit's voice.
alexup24 13
OP's wife isn't exactly what you'd call, umm... what's the word. Oh yeah appreciative...
Shrike 24
Uh, OP didn't say anything about his wife's appreciation.
alexup24 13
Analysis, and implications my friend. Analysis, and implications...
Shrike 24
You misspelled "making shit up", kid. Guy got scabs from poor shaving, nothing in there about the wife's appreciation, my little sexist friend.
GoW_Chick 15
Kids these days.. GET OFF MY LAWN!
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
People now think there's a hidden message behind everything these days
2cute4u_18 1
36, yo mamas so hairy she needs a weed wacker to trim her bush
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Damn you 73, I was pretty sure everyone had forgotten about 'yo mama' jokes. Until now. >:(
OkitaCockroach 19
Seeing a heart outta hair on my husband's junk wouldn't exactly be the sexiest thing ever.
Jaxx66 21
Why call it "Junk"? To me that seems to devalue and insult it. :(
Azula272 14
Lol. Says the drug using pony. But I agree, it must've looked like a crop circle
longtimesunshine 4
I say junk too.
haw008 14
That is just not sexy period.
Ruffclue 9
It would have been better if it was 3D
gantzlord 5
It was 3D...
lolfood 24
Periods are NOT sexy
kshafer08 7
How romantic....