Today, I found out that I was conceived during a conjugal visit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Planned parenthood
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML
Today, I found out my soon-to-be husband and father of my unborn child is already married to another man. FML
BREAKING NEWS
Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML
Congrats!
Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that the weird guy that lives next door is my biological father. FML
Today, I met my wife's mistress, at the maternity ward in the hospital, after she gave birth to our second child. FML
Congratulations. Or not.
Today, I was told that I will be a father in 2 months. I had a one night stand about 7 months ago. FML
Today, I found out that my long-distance boyfriend just got married because his "real" girlfriend is pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
Top comments
pwnrzero 0
hail chrome! the chromium revolution! woot woot. oh, and by the way, conjugal visit is: A conjugal visit is a scheduled extended visit during which an inmate of a prison is permitted to spend several hours or days in private, usually with a legal spouse. While the parties may engage in sexual intercourse, the generally recognized basis for permitting such a visit in modern times is to preserve family bonds and increase the chances of success for a prisoner's eventual return to life outside prison.
atvarela 0
so? i was concieved in a gay bar.
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Comments (113)
IndigoKitty 3
Not really a FML, is it? some people are concieved when both parents were drunk, or by rape. so one of your parents was in prison? big deal, doesn't mean they don't love you. When the hell are they going to install a "other" button?
marrajane 0
Yeah, in the form of a "No one gives a shit" button, half of the FML's don't warrant either of our current choices.
redbluegreen 41
There is a third option. See #26's comment.
emilysanftwsom 0
Haahahahaha! This is the first FML to make me laugh out loud in months... thanks for sharing!!!
michaelscot23 0
**** you. it sucked
Arcran5 0
#90 You rule.
Nakedsquirrel 5
How heartwarming that (presumably) your mother cared enough about her man not to play astray while he was locked away.
Darth_Taco 14
I was conceived on purpose. I was born into poverty so think about it :D. Yeah, yours still wins. Look at the bright side, you're not like that one guy who posted his own FML a while ago saying he found the sex tape that shows his actual conception. You can block it out, he's scared for life.
Jujube93 0
WTF that would suck. I think I'd shoot myself or stab my eyes out if I found that. but WHY would someone willingly watch their parents having sex? You turn it on you see your parents named you shut it off and BURN IT
elkat_fml 0
It's okay, I was too. :) Although my mother was the one receiving conjugal visits -- not my father. (I know at least one person above me assumed it was your father in prison so I thought I'd throw that out there.)
vev_fml 0
I'm amused this is a post from Texas. =)
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
FYI there is a "Who cares?" button. It's on the moderate page, right next to the "Yes" button.
Ligerie 0
true story
rick_james_b17ch 0
Oh Oh are we playing guess what I am? Ok are you aaaa... plan to rob a casino? Is your dad George Clooney?
pariah89 0
I don't know about the OP but I am definitely a plan to rob a casino. Other kids in school were like "I wanna be a fireman" and I was like "**** that- I'm gonna be a plot for crime." By the way: Today I found out that I was not conceived in a conjugal visit. FML.
perdix 31
I was drunk the day that Mom got out of prison... So, was you incarcerated parent in the pen for douchebaggery? A few years ago, they decriminalized douchebaggery in Texas because they found out it was a hereditary defect.
Loveyou6611 20
and I went to pick her up in the rain, but before I could get to the station she got raned over by a (@#%%) train!!
fireandice27 0
Well finding that piece of info out must have been an awkward conversation
kukopia 0
It was probably; "Your mom/dad was in prison from xxxx to yyyy" 'But I was born in {yr}... oh wow, that means...'