Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML
Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML
Today, I discovered a drawer full of chocolates, cookies and baked goods in my house. When I asked my sister what the drawer was, she told me that my mom thought it would be a good idea to hide the fattening foods from me. My entire family had known about the food drawer, except me. FML
Today, I learned where my mom's "special hiding spot" that I'll "never find" for the Halloween chocolate is, when I preheated the oven to make cookies. FML
Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML
Today, I was babysitting my boss's kids. I brought chocolate for them and the youngest said he had never had chocolate and didn't want any. I told him he should always try new things and should eat it. He did. He's allergic. FML
Today, in a fit of rage, my mom confessed to me that I was adopted, and if she had the chance to turn back time, she wouldn't have done it in the first place. All because I ate the last ice cream sandwich. FML
Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML
Today, my mother turned up drunk at my house with a chocolate cake for my 14th birthday. I'm 27, I haven’t seen her in 6 years, I'm allergic to chocolate, and when she saw that I had 2 kids, she wanted to know why I'd bothered, since kids are always "such a disappointment". FML
Today, my mom complained that I never do anything nice for her, so while out shopping I bought her favorite chocolate bar. When I got home, she screamed at me because she’s on a diet. FML
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Top comments
Dodge4x4Ram 46
your childhood was robbed
clancey6 4
If they were chocolate chip Chips Ahoy cookies.. I understand her reasoning..
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Comments (188)
s1ckpup 0
I'm surprised nobody has said anything about Mrs. Field's cookies, now THOSE are the best and truly worth dying for. And whoever said subway's are the best should get stoned.
SAgirl 23
Your mom must be real fat.
SuzyTurquoiseBlu 25
Your mother is a selfish bitch.
Stoopid_life 2
...and your the one who believed it :D
LadyJoker21 0
What a bitch
iGiveNoDamn 14
Awesome Mum #UGotServed :) Haha
THE_A_TEEN 28
This is not twitter.
MrLoux 6
That's just dick!
manaallovesfmls 19
Some mom you got there OP .....
graphicstyle7 17
Wow, time to BUST LOOSE and order some excellent chocolate from a gourmet shop! Then take a photo and send it to your mom and tell her you are not sharing!
vetgrl 2
Whoever makes the money can choose to share or not share their cookies. By lying she saved herself years of telling you "no" over and over, and unintentionally from obesity/sugar addiction. Moms hate repeating "no".
THE_A_TEEN 28
Bullshit, she was being lied to about having allergies just so the mom could have all the cookies and not share it with her. Did you misses that part, or are you ok with denying kids a part of their childhood and just lying to them about having a medical condition just so you can horde cookies all to yourself.