Today, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out I have an incredible fear of butterflies. I discovered this after my mother took me to a butterfly sanctuary for some "mother-daughter bonding time." FML
Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML
Today, I found out my stalker is my mom's new boyfriend. FML
Today, I found out my little sister is marrying my ex, and that my mother set them up. FML
Today, I found out that my parents think my boyfriend is the devil. FML
Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML
Today, I realized my friends were right about my obsession for my only son when I found myself genuinely jealous when I heard he recently got a new girlfriend. FML
Today, I decided I would tell my mom I'm not going to marry my fiancé because it just didn't feel right, only to walk into my own surprise engagement party. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
Truly tolerant people are in short supply these days, it seems it is too tall an order to be able to see short people as equals in society these days. I think it is below the belt to mock dwarves for their vertical shortcomings, and looking down on them is why we can't all see eye to eye here, and why they have such a short-fuse. As a smaller person, I feel like I drew the short straw in my gene pool.
Voldy_fml 16
That must've been very embarrassing and rude at the same time.
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Comments (109)
TheDrifter 24
I'll bet family life will be fun for you OP. One mustached Halloween costume and you'll be in full on panic mode.
jordanleann95 6
My sister is terrified of them
Capt_Oblivious 10
'Highly irrational'? So it isn't just a 'little' fear is it?
Kingbreezy04 10
Just wait until he tries to boss you around, and you already afraid of him. "Clean up your damn room". Little step dad = 1 OP = 0.
perdix 31
I'm imagining him standing about waist-high on her, and her face has become frozen in a permanent ****** expression. Sounds like the next great wedding-cake topper.
andyyroxx 20
Like from Shrek...
poccocurantes 7
Look on the bright side, you'll have his axe.
maddiewoah 15
I don't understand why anyone would be scared of dwarves.. more commonly known as "little people" of course. They're still people; they were just born with it :/ Sorry to be all anti-joke chicken or whatever, lol.
DanielleinDC 34
That's why OP pointed out that her fear is highly irrational. Sorry about that, OP. It can't be easy for you.
evilplatypus 39
Same reason people have a fear of butterflies or certain textures; they have no control over it!
doodlecloud 27
People are scared of what is different. In any case, OP already said it was an irrational fear so they don't have a reason, they just are.
Amy78_fml 11
I too go into a panic when I see male ones,but female little people don't bother me. I think it has something to do with leprechauns.
edgarhaasenbary 8
I have midgetphobia as well.
perdix 31
She has to be very careful during oral sex, or she might blow his Bonaparte.
Solle 9
You do know that Napoleon was slightly above average in height right?
perdix 31
#36, not by today's standards. And that's all that really counts, right?