Animals: Today, I found out my son told his teachers that I make his brother...

By Bad Mother - 08/10/2015 11:53 - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Today, I found out my son told his teachers that I make his brother Tom sleep on the floor, make him stay out of the house for long periods of time, and don't let him use the toilet. Tom is actually our cat. FML

agreeclassic 27 025

vote type 1 1 917

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By tony - 24/07/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML

agreeclassic 77 621

vote type 1 7 678

By spadesmollusques - 06/06/2016 05:13 - France - Strasbourg

Today, my 10-year-old son introduced me to Tom, his new best friend, and insisted we have him over to dinner. Tom is a slug. FML

agreeclassic 13 085

vote type 1 1 366

By thecathater - 09/07/2013 13:35 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I found out that I'd been wrong to constantly accuse next door's cat of peeing on my car every night. It was actually my 16-year-old son. FML

agreeclassic 51 842

vote type 1 7 117

By parent - 08/03/2018 01:30

Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML

agreeclassic 5 246

vote type 1 2 846

By grrrr - 08/02/2010 00:35 - United States

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

agreeclassic 34 432

vote type 1 2 897

By Pumpkin - 18/07/2009 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

agreeclassic 40 214

vote type 1 102 981

Fight Club

By Back to youtube - 23/10/2023 22:00

Today, two weeks after I got my girlfriend's son to watch old Tom & Jerry cartoons instead of those awful YouTube kids channels, he got in trouble at school for whapping another kid in the face with a toy mallet. He mentioned he wanted to be like Jerry. I'm a dead man when my girlfriend hears this. FML

agreeclassic 630

vote type 1 280

Beware!

By Anonymous - 24/11/2011 17:07 - United States

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

agreeclassic 37 130

vote type 1 3 836

Proof

By George Saunders - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML

agreeclassic 8 154

vote type 1 54 237

By Anonymous - 27/04/2012 15:22 - United States - Pleasant Hill

Today, I woke up, got up, and felt something crunchy under my feet. My son thought it would be funny if he spread cat litter all around the house. Used cat litter. FML

agreeclassic 27 330

vote type 1 2 581

MrSassypants 33

Friday 9 October 2015 1:48

You have a cat named Tom? How do you deal with the senseless violence gong on 24/7 between your cat and Jerry the mouse?

CaptainBlack 18

Friday 9 October 2015 1:52

Should have named him Mittens...

Comments

GrumpyGrinch 23

Friday 9 October 2015 17:51

Pets are family.

Enzymatically 14

Friday 9 October 2015 23:00

shame he doesn't understand

robinhoodlum 3

Sunday 11 October 2015 16:41

This would never have happened if you'd called Tom Mr Snufflebutt.

jonoLFC 6

Monday 12 October 2015 23:44

Your son is a legend.

EclipseCandy6 24

Tuesday 20 October 2015 13:31

You don't let your cat use the toilet!?!?

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend how sleeping with another person is cheating. It's been three days, and almost as many fights. He still doesn't get it. FML

agreeclassic 35 292

vote type 1 17 035

Today, I was using a public restroom. After about a minute of me being in there, a little girl came in and started pounding on the door, screaming that she had to go. My pregnancy hormones are so bad that I almost burst into tears. FML

agreeclassic 40 432

vote type 1 17 407

Today, I was at the office making copies for a project. As I left the copy room my dress pants caught a sharp something on the door frame and ripped open my pants. All my co-workers saw my pink boxer briefs. Now I'm called "Pinky" by everyone. FML

agreeclassic 1 677

vote type 1 395

Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top five women to have it off with would be. I was third. My mom was second. FML

agreeclassic 106 144

vote type 1 17 913

Today, I tried to act nonchalant in front of my neighbors, and swing my lanyard around with my keys on it. It flew off my finger and into their yard. FML

agreeclassic 7 250

vote type 1 39 008

Today, after a long day at work, I was ready to wind down for the night. I sat on my bed and turned towards a fluttering on my left. I saw the biggest daddy-longlegs inches from my face, jumped in the other direction, forgetting there was a wall, and hit my head on it. I'm now officially wide awake. FML

agreeclassic 1 263

vote type 1 255

Similar FMLs

Fight Club

Beware!

Proof

TOP COMMENTS

Comments