He's a keeper

Today, my mom announced that she's getting back together with my stepdad, who just got out of prison. He was in prison because he beat her, choked her, and caused her to have a miscarriage. FML

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

Today, I woke up to the news that my mom's in jail. FML

Today, I was told by my mother that the reason she quit her job as a counselor and divorced my dad was because she met someone through work. She works in a prison. FML

Today, I found out my girlfriend of four years is legally married to a man in prison. He gets out next week. FML

Love is love

Today, I found out my dad is dating my dead mom's best friend. FML

Pants on fire

Today, my mom admitted that her story about my dad leaving us for his current wife was a lie. He left when he caught her with a coworker. She blocked his number and got a restraining order to keep him from telling his side of the story. I haven't talked to my dad for six years because of this. FML

Today, my mom let it slip that she was divorcing my dad. After making me promise to keep it from him and my little sisters, she had me help her with her plans to renovate the house. She intends to kick him out once it's done. FML

New relations

Today, I found out my newly-divorced father is now going to marry my girlfriend's mother. Tough situation here. FML

It's my own cheating heart that makes me cry

Today, I found out my mom is still cheating on my dad with her ex boyfriend from her teenage years. She was caught last year, but apparently it's still going on. FML