Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML
Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML
Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I found out my ex was sleeping around with others without a condom. FML
Today, I learned that the guy I was seeing had a girlfriend that he hid from me. I found this out when she attacked me. FML
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Top comments
bebe391 0
LMFAO
mzmiff132 1
hopefully u slapped him for that lol that's mad nasty
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Comments (218)
lonewolf2701 0
you got glove slapped!
nevermindbitch 0
too much =3
purplemnm 9
you made him wear the condom, he has the right to do whatever he wants to after he's finished.
bellsforher_ 0
The hell he doesn't. Wearing a condom is beneficial for all parties involved. And why do you say that like it's a cumbersome, taxing task to do it? I did not realize wanting to be smart and safe not only was such a hassle, but also allows people to treat you as they please.
Monikabug 9
Thank you #22. Could not have said it any better!
Shae84 0
14- please wear a condom. We don't need any mini-you's running around.
purplemnm 9
it was joke you failures. and I will have mini-mes running around whenever I damn well please.
Dwight_A_R_Manag 0
I'd finish into your mouth
purplemnm 9
haha ok
bordercolliemom 0
what a stupid thing to write
purplemnm 9
what a stupid thing you are
PottheadSam 0
he should taking it off first and then hit u in the face
Spongii101 12
#16 WTF?
mimi3218 1
hahahah!!!! FYL!!!
cartius 0
next time right before he finishes grab his balls and squeeze as hard as u can. then be like. "oh u hit me w the condom last time so I thought u were into kinky stuff". lol
bibblz 0
hahahahai agree with#20
mcgugs 0
win!!!
wasted0087 0
Fail! No! That is wrong on so many levels! No! Why would you do that! No! Ouch!
blaaaaakely 0
lesson learned: don't use a condom.
brentludlow 0
marry me?
aeliz 0
Ummm... yeah, if you want to get STD's. No one wants herpes. Use condoms until both involved are tested.
visage 0
Come on... let's go bareback. I promise to pull out!
myownenemy 0
47 condoms don't prevent herpes
blaaaaakely 0
hahaha I read that as WEARING 47 condoms won't pre
blaaaaakely 0
it only sent half. ** won't prevent herpes. LOLZ
davjr 3
i agree
aeliz 0
Not completely, but it's a way safer bet than without. I was more just making a point that condoms are important for people who aren't in a trusting relationship where both people know for sure that they are clean.
JCBaseball13 6
true dat
Shade1982 21
Not 100%, but it does lower the risk by a huge margin. So, unless you are a risk-taker, it's better safe than sorry...
loludeserveit 0
ROFLMFAOQWERTYCOPTER!!!!!}%##<#%#^%]%=|^*}
theeBeezWaXx 0
never have sex w// someone you dnt fully know. youve had to have seen signs of "asshole" characteristics before sexyy timee.
Emmmmm55 0
that's discusting DUMP him!!!
novakman 0
ew your a jusin beober douché bag.,,