Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Gooey mess
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML
Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
Wrong sort of poking
Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML
Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Get tested
Today, I found out my ex was sleeping around with others without a condom. FML
Today, I learned that the guy I was seeing had a girlfriend that he hid from me. I found this out when she attacked me. FML
Top comments
bebe391 0
LMFAO
mzmiff132 1
hopefully u slapped him for that lol that's mad nasty
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (218)
liljeron 0
that's jokes
Pommy_fml 0
marry that man.
Pommy_fml 0
that's my kinda girl
bulll_crap 0
lol
emmorz 0
that made my day.
zac12345 0
Hello, I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC and I'm here to talk to you about your relationship with a 15 and a half year old. Did you really say " I want to blank your blank as I blank your blanking blank"?
drunkssssssssss 0
haha lmfaorotfpom what would you rather have condom to the face or a pearl necklace earrings or the whole thing all over your face
GoofyGirl 0
that's just funny- thanks for the laugh!
conscience13 4
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Zohhan 0
LMAO, Snakeskin to the face