Today, I found my old sewing machine I got when I was a kid. I never used it before, because when I was younger, I was afraid I might sew my fingers. Laughing at myself, I decided to sew up an old bag. I sewed my thumb. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML
Today, I lost a sewing needle in the carpet. No worries, my big toe found it. FML
Today, I was sewing a top. Due to a mistake, I had to unstitch the zipper and resew it. When I was almost done, I noticed that the zipper was upside down. FML
Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Today, as I peeled a now soggy Band-Aid off my finger, I discovered that in the dim light of yesterday evening, I had, with great anxiety, wrapped it around the wrong finger. FML
Today, I was halfway through a pair of pants I'd started making when my PTSD kicked in and I had a panic attack, and thought someone was yelling at me, so my response was to throw a pair of sewing scissors at the non-existent person. They hit the wall and now I have to get the wall patched up. FML
Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML
Today, I was so insecure, I got scared of what people might think of my fingers. FML
Today, while joking with my coworkers about how I shouldn't be trusted with a stapler because I managed to accidentally staple my finger last week, I stapled another finger. FML
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Top comments
nerdsgetmehot 23
Having had extensive sewing experience, I know that it takes a lot of recklessness to achieve the task of sewing your fingers. I'm sorry, but you were most likely being pretty careless...Hopefully you've learned to be a bit more careful!
rob935 5
I agree with 3. I have done a lot of sewing in my life and have never managed to do anything so stupid. YDI for being retarded. And to think, you were the fastest sperm!
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Comments (100)
happyk 0
Never laugh while sewing. It's a serious matter.
sameoldstory 0
it's not that hard though. i remember sewing in tech when i was in year 8. i guess you were just unlucky.
Matu 4
nice dude, now sew your fingers together.
MishaShortStuff 0
Ah That Sucks, Im Sorry :I
lostfaithinpppl 19
Leave sewing to others ...
melly219 0
haha wow dumb ass!
Klink_fml 3
if I'm correct you just had the milgrim effect get to you. you told yourself not to sewed your thumb, which made you think about it and going aganist yourself you did. by telling yourself not to do it, made you do it. happens a lot and for the few going "your stupid! that's not real!" did someone of something tell you not to do something and you still did it?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Ha! *snaps*
Hwikek 2
I'm a guy, even I can use a sewing machine better than that!
aardvarkish 17
One out of Five ain't bad!