Today, I found my old sewing machine I got when I was a kid. I never used it before, because when I was younger, I was afraid I might sew my fingers. Laughing at myself, I decided to sew up an old bag. I sewed my thumb. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML
Today, I lost a sewing needle in the carpet. No worries, my big toe found it. FML
Today, I was sewing a top. Due to a mistake, I had to unstitch the zipper and resew it. When I was almost done, I noticed that the zipper was upside down. FML
Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Today, as I peeled a now soggy Band-Aid off my finger, I discovered that in the dim light of yesterday evening, I had, with great anxiety, wrapped it around the wrong finger. FML
Today, I was halfway through a pair of pants I'd started making when my PTSD kicked in and I had a panic attack, and thought someone was yelling at me, so my response was to throw a pair of sewing scissors at the non-existent person. They hit the wall and now I have to get the wall patched up. FML
Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML
Today, I was so insecure, I got scared of what people might think of my fingers. FML
Today, while joking with my coworkers about how I shouldn't be trusted with a stapler because I managed to accidentally staple my finger last week, I stapled another finger. FML
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Top comments
nerdsgetmehot 23
Having had extensive sewing experience, I know that it takes a lot of recklessness to achieve the task of sewing your fingers. I'm sorry, but you were most likely being pretty careless...Hopefully you've learned to be a bit more careful!
rob935 5
I agree with 3. I have done a lot of sewing in my life and have never managed to do anything so stupid. YDI for being retarded. And to think, you were the fastest sperm!
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Comments (100)
hurtandabused 7
That's what u get for keeping it hidden lol.
frickbunnies 7
Obviously you have no brain