Today, I found my old sewing machine I got when I was a kid. I never used it before, because when I was younger, I was afraid I might sew my fingers. Laughing at myself, I decided to sew up an old bag. I sewed my thumb. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML
Today, I lost a sewing needle in the carpet. No worries, my big toe found it. FML
Today, I was sewing a top. Due to a mistake, I had to unstitch the zipper and resew it. When I was almost done, I noticed that the zipper was upside down. FML
Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Today, as I peeled a now soggy Band-Aid off my finger, I discovered that in the dim light of yesterday evening, I had, with great anxiety, wrapped it around the wrong finger. FML
Today, I was halfway through a pair of pants I'd started making when my PTSD kicked in and I had a panic attack, and thought someone was yelling at me, so my response was to throw a pair of sewing scissors at the non-existent person. They hit the wall and now I have to get the wall patched up. FML
Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML
Today, I was so insecure, I got scared of what people might think of my fingers. FML
Today, while joking with my coworkers about how I shouldn't be trusted with a stapler because I managed to accidentally staple my finger last week, I stapled another finger. FML
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Top comments
nerdsgetmehot 23
Having had extensive sewing experience, I know that it takes a lot of recklessness to achieve the task of sewing your fingers. I'm sorry, but you were most likely being pretty careless...Hopefully you've learned to be a bit more careful!
rob935 5
I agree with 3. I have done a lot of sewing in my life and have never managed to do anything so stupid. YDI for being retarded. And to think, you were the fastest sperm!
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Comments (100)
xoemmily 0
wow... FYL
justsayfuck 5
Honest curiosity here: Does 'I decided to sew up an old bag' have any sexual connotation for Americans or British? Or for any other nationalities once tranlated?
Trollz4daLULZ 2
No, not sexual. "Old Bag" is a derogatory phrase for a woman who is getting on in years, though...
Trollz4daLULZ 2
*You *taken *end of the sentence needs a period.
__ShAd0w__ 0
lol
lalagirl912 0
for* the* lolz*
Trollz4daLULZ 2
*usernames don't count *ironic/satirical in nature *just run with it :P
justsayfuck 5
Okay thank you :) I could read it, as a Dutch, as 'I decided to **** a grandma'. Didn't see any obvious reactions to that, so I was wondering.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
if it meant that in English, I'd have said "YDI for being a GILF-hunter"
puredarkness_evi 0
ooo yur pretty #23 and #10 :D
zackkmann21 0
u should have took sewing lessons
SiLeNt_MiNd 0
Lol Don't cook with sharp knives xP
littlexlion 4
Totally agree with #7 and #3. You must have been careless, too fast, or both, or something idiotic. YDI
becaribera 0
hh
yamiibaybee 0
- hmm thumbs up OP.! x]
iHeartGucci 0
Lol. Fyl OP.
BrookieMonster 0
Oh wow, that sucks :/ That's why you always follow the #1 rule my Home Ec. teacher put up: "Watch your damn fingers, the ER sees enough stupid people per day as it is."