KJL
United States
Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
disgusted
Harpenden, United Kingdom
The language of love
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
anonymous
Saint John's, Canada
Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML
AMP4U
United States
It sort of is
Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years-old. FML
Anonymous
United States
The real Zodiac killer?
Today, I told my husband that we should write down all our passwords so we don't forget them. Later, after he'd left, I pulled out his password sheet to do a little snooping, only to learn that he'd written them in some sort of bizarre cipher. What's he hiding? FML
Thanks Honey
United States
Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML
Anonymous
Breathtaking view
Today, my husband farted while he was naked and bending over to pick up his clothes, so me lying on the bed got a perfect view of his butthole twitching and flapping around as the gas escaped. Who says romance is dead? FML
woundedexwife
United States
Today, I realized why my husband had been seemingly wanting to improve our relationship by sending little texts throughout the day for the last couple of months, asking what I was doing. It was so he could find out when would be the best time to have his girlfriend over and cheat on me. FML
Anonymous
United States
Hilarious
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
Susan
Canada
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Phoebe
Singapore
Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML
Top comments
Johnothan 0
That's hilarious. He's winning
Ads11 10
*Twilight Zone Tune*
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Comments (184)
iluvneon 0
I would of just left the room haha at least he doesn't talk to the cat or dog about how it needs to get a job
yomommma 6
Why are you talking about cats foo?
Ashelizabethh 8
Thank you for making this worth reading lol.
amayalives4music 1
Totally something my brother would do...
amayalives4music 1
Totally something my brother would do... It's funny though :D lol
perdix 31
They are, but he's barking up the wrong tree learning Morse Code. He needs to call in the Ass Whisperer to translate what his farts are saying.
freddyisepic 2
lol
xckylexc 0
True
HomeAl0ne 20
Right now they are saying "come closer, come closer" but it's a trap!
seeb49 7
Totally something my brother would do...
Kendall_Cali97 8
Haha! Win!
ZeroIce 12
what are they saying?!?
creedaddict 9
Well is it!?!?
tonydizzle 0
He obviously seen a beautiful mind lol
picklezz123 5
It's possible