Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my best friend told me he masturbates to my Instagram page. Thanks, I guess. FML
Today, I read some funny scribblings on a wall in the bathroom stall. My first instinct was to "Like" it. FML
Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I'd left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML
Today, while I was showering, someone left a note on the bathroom door that read, "We can all hear you masturbating. Shut the hell up." I don't know what's more embarrassing, that everyone in my house thought I was masturbating or that I was actually singing. FML
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
Today, I found a note on my door that said, "You're the sexiest person I've ever stalked." Later, I found another note that said, "Sorry, that was meant for your roommate. You aren't my type." Not even a creepy stalker thinks I'm attractive. FML
Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML
Today, I decided to do naked yoga in my lounge room, as I always do. Later, I found a note on my front door saying "Keep doing what you're doing". FML
Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML
Today, I found a note on the front door of my flat saying, "You left your keys in your garage door so I put them in your letter box". Guess where my letter box key is. FML
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Top comments
LlamaFlavoured 24
Someone's got a stalker...
RecklessJellyBea 7
Ah, FB. A stalker's library.
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Comments (189)
diamond69_fml 14
How funny, unless it a real stalker. I bet it's someone like ur Mom that wants u remove those x rated pictures that everyone in your family can see.
LithiumJoker 7
Brilliant.
kurtap 0
That's a compliment
fiblydinkerton 0
Im liking that post
Bananaque 0
That's just creepy. Look on the bright side, at least you didn't get poked!
justanotherbird 19
And this is why my facebook is private.
UrCapsLockOn 12
put ur real profile picture ... see what wil happen .. :P
lisaaarrrggghhh 0
Bwahahahahahaha too funny
thatandyykidd 4
this would be creepier if you still lived at home...
bubo_fml 11
I'd "like" it if the note said, "I Facebook when I **********!"