Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my best friend told me he masturbates to my Instagram page. Thanks, I guess. FML
Today, I read some funny scribblings on a wall in the bathroom stall. My first instinct was to "Like" it. FML
Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I'd left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML
Today, while I was showering, someone left a note on the bathroom door that read, "We can all hear you masturbating. Shut the hell up." I don't know what's more embarrassing, that everyone in my house thought I was masturbating or that I was actually singing. FML
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
Today, I found a note on my door that said, "You're the sexiest person I've ever stalked." Later, I found another note that said, "Sorry, that was meant for your roommate. You aren't my type." Not even a creepy stalker thinks I'm attractive. FML
Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML
Today, I decided to do naked yoga in my lounge room, as I always do. Later, I found a note on my front door saying "Keep doing what you're doing". FML
Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML
Today, I found a note on the front door of my flat saying, "You left your keys in your garage door so I put them in your letter box". Guess where my letter box key is. FML
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Top comments
LlamaFlavoured 24
Someone's got a stalker...
RecklessJellyBea 7
Ah, FB. A stalker's library.
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Comments (189)
CabbageTrees 13
At least they're honest...?
Dcm210 19
some has a crush on you.
afulks78 11
That's funny ! And creepy lol
ih82bl8 2
Are you a guy or a girl, if Ur a girl- kinda flatering, if u r a guy...
drawmesunshine 17
What? What if OP's a guy?? It must mean that he has a couple of -homosexual- stalkers because no woman anywhere has ever masturbated. Idiot.
amanda_d95 9
Looks like someone "likes" you
Muser97 1
Dude that's just plain creepy. I would block this person
KiddNYC1O 22
Stalkers be crazyy.
pleasebitch_fml 0
I think it's just your friends messing with you
Taz23_fml 6
Well u now knw ur hot enough to nake somone play with thelselves, and wanted enought to have a stalker.
kristat 14
That's pretty damn funny. I'm sure its just a friend messing with you, because I'd hope you aren't dumb enough to actually put your address on a public facebook....