Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my best friend told me he masturbates to my Instagram page. Thanks, I guess. FML
Today, I read some funny scribblings on a wall in the bathroom stall. My first instinct was to "Like" it. FML
Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I'd left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML
Today, while I was showering, someone left a note on the bathroom door that read, "We can all hear you masturbating. Shut the hell up." I don't know what's more embarrassing, that everyone in my house thought I was masturbating or that I was actually singing. FML
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
Today, I found a note on my door that said, "You're the sexiest person I've ever stalked." Later, I found another note that said, "Sorry, that was meant for your roommate. You aren't my type." Not even a creepy stalker thinks I'm attractive. FML
Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML
Today, I decided to do naked yoga in my lounge room, as I always do. Later, I found a note on my front door saying "Keep doing what you're doing". FML
Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML
Today, I found a note on the front door of my flat saying, "You left your keys in your garage door so I put them in your letter box". Guess where my letter box key is. FML
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Top comments
LlamaFlavoured 24
Someone's got a stalker...
RecklessJellyBea 7
Ah, FB. A stalker's library.
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Comments (189)
jaff23 11
deactivate for a few days and he might move on or sneak a camera into your room
Mx_Rider 6
Just block your photos, try to make your profile more private if you can. Also unfriend random people you dont know or talk to.
Btagoc 2
That's like 70% of everyone on my fb...
xxkimmyt 9
Creeper Status!
xcdog16 0
Sssssssssss
yswt 12
Think positively, you are attractive!
perdix 31
I wonder what he used to attach the note to your door? I have the feeling he's going to poke you ;)
palmergoesbig 0
Probably tape.
perdix 31
Read the story and use your imagination. C'mon, man!
perdix 31
17, see what 21 did there?
daminantion 14
Try hard enough there perdix?
Renee_Ketchum 0
I just looked, and this has 6 likes on Facebook. Some sort of Inception, I guess.
kimmiekimmiekong 0
I feel like this is just a sick joke since it was attached to ur door and if not narrow it down to people who know where u live! unless u put ur address on fb and if u did ur a idiot!
salvationsanctua 5
she probably lives in a college dorm
kemando 22
It could be a locker door.
nikbush 0
"you're *an* idiot."
kemando 22
Well at least your hot, I guess.
chels1994 11
At least you're attractive :p
perdix 31
Chels, you are spectacular! When you fish for compliments, sometimes you catch the big one.
chels1994 11
Ahh perdix. I've only been a member on here for a short time, but I can't help but notice what a wonderful commenter you are :)
irimalovecheer98 5
Thts creepy but tht means your not ugly