Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML
Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML
Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML
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Top comments
indistructo 3
you just got buuuuuuuuurrrrned! lol best joke ever
Glitterhinoceros 14
It'd be really cool if you could fit your whole body into that be completely casual while talking to your girlfriend
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Comments (176)
21jason 9
Ahahahaha your gf is awesome.. But u sir sound like a dick
cntryiscntrywide 0
put dog food in her dinner, since yur being a bitch might as well treat yu like one.
upyourzlolz 11
Wow! You should be honored! She goes out of her way to buy condoms for you! That's a such a caring girl! Haha no.
bryanismad 3
Epic win 20x
upyourzlolz 11
Comment fail x 20
scoop15928 4
Bring a dog costume to her door and say "since your being a bitch, you may as well dress like one".
cntryiscntrywide 0
if only this were 8 comments earlier....
scoop15928 4
What are you talking about, I don't see any other comments about that before mine. Where?
Aspen_Grace33 27
Haha love it!
cntryiscntrywide 0
they moderated my comment >:'( I made a dog food one.
Feklfekl2222 32
There's one about putting dog food in their dinner so they're fed like a bitch.
scoop15928 4
Yea I see it now but it was moderated before.
TheNewGuy03 29
...and thus, the Insult Wars begin.
fencer310 0
**** her best friend with the condom and leave it w/ a note that says "at least this dick still gets pussy."
Fylminesawsome 5
Use it on her.
freakizoid_fml 5
Did anyone see op's name?
luckyducky_7sq 10
I believe it's pronounced "Dah-KEED"
mrsvickybear 9
******* AWESOME HAHAHA YDI
KiddNYC1O 22
Go commando.