Today, I finally told my roommate, who doesn't pay rent, to go get a job. He left, came back, and immediately went to my refrigerator to eat. I asked him about his job and what his pay is. Apparently, putting together a bike for a kid is a job. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate and I were watching TV, and he ordered a pizza. After it was delivered, I took a slice. He yelled at me for taking his food and told me to stop mooching off him. I had to cover his rent last month and he still hasn't paid me back. FML
Today, after moving in with a friend I've known for 9 years, I found out he's going to jail soon, and refuses to work or get a new job, making me unable to pay rent as he eats all my food. FML
Today, I finally told my dad that he owes me over 400 dollars, and that I need it or else I'd get kicked out of my apartment. He only gave me 70 and said to get a better job. FML
Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML
Today, my roommate and I had to pay our first installment of rent. He's nowhere to be found. FML
Today, my roommate played a crazy April Fool's joke on me by not paying his rent this month. Good one. FML
Today, the guy I live with demanded that I get a job or start paying rent. It'd be perfectly reasonable, if he wasn't my husband, and if I hadn't just given birth to our first child. FML
Today, I texted my flatmate to ask him when he would be paying his portion of the rent, since he has told me he would be late this month. He wrote back to inform me that he had moved out last night while I was away, and that he won't be paying me anything. FML
Today, after I've been cleaning a hostel 7/7 for free accommodation for a few weeks, and the owner telling me 3 times to take a day off while he was able to do the job, I'm finally leaving. He's now (and only now) asking me to pay for the 3 nights I "didn't work for." FML
Today, I told my roommates they have to go get jobs, because I can't afford to support them or their bad habits any more. They responded by pawning all my DVDs for cash to buy cigarettes. FML
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Top comments
groupleader 7
Yes a bike job is also known as a bj.
I_Punch_Babies 7
you already know his weakness is the refrigerator. dont go grocery shopping and just get.a days worth of food each time you go out. thatll force him to get a real job.
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Comments (81)
florido_fml 10
Kick him out
numbersystem 4
This sounds like a job for bicycle repair man! :)
ohSNAPyall 27
BRRRRRRP!
thiscrazything 1
He's peddling a free ride from you.
reddudeover 2
Make him sleep on ice and rats until he finds a job. Muhuhuwhahahaha
Megan98 18
Well it's not like you specified what kind of job.
instnt1nfction 17
Yes he's a dum dum, he got gum gum.
perdix 31
It IS a job. He probably didn't get paid in cash, but he racked up a huge number of karma points! Huge! You should feel blessed you're under the same roof with such a great soul. Keep paying all the rent without complaint and allow this human angel to continue performing acts of enlightenment and lovingkindness.
ManInTheMachine 20
Your roomate is one of those people that, if you asked to make dinner, would get Chinese Takeout and put it on a plate. Always looking for the shortcuts in life. FYL Oh, and don't bother helping him with anything. He needs to learn to take care of himself.
Enslaved 38
Just had to say, root beer dum-dums are the best! (:
DanielleinDC 34
Oy. Definitely kick the freeloader and moocher out. A job is not fixing a bike for a kid.
perdix 31
First, it's assembling a bike, and, yes, that technically counts as a job. It would be helpful for the rent situation if he'd assemble bikes on a regular basis and get paid for it. My local bike shop want $45 bucks to "tune-up" my bike. Isn't that a job?