Not a real doctor
Today, my mom watched a Dr. Phil episode. She's now hysterical because she assumes me and my friends are involved in sex parties. All because a man on the TV said so. FML
Today, my mom watched a Dr. Phil episode. She's now hysterical because she assumes me and my friends are involved in sex parties. All because a man on the TV said so. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom decided to take away my TV after noticing that I watch the show True Blood. Apparently, since I watch this, I must be "curious about sex." I'm 19. FML
Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML
Today, I was watching a movie that had a mild sex scene in it. My mother walked in just as that scene was starting and she flipped out. I'm now grounded. She's taken my TV and laptop out of my room and refuses to let me see my boyfriend because she's sure he's the cause of my "disgusting behaviour". FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML
Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML
Today, my mother threw a fit because the psychologist she got me suggested I visit a psychiatrist. Apparently, it's my fault because I "choose" to be so "crazy". FML
Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML
Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML
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Top comments
I_Punch_Babies 7
if its on tv it must be true :-/
Meowingtons500 18
Oh boy, wait until she sees Maury.
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Comments (208)
I_Punch_Babies 7
if its on tv it must be true :-/
joedirtxtc 5
I remember when I thought Aliens were after my colon.
StanSmith_fml 9
I'm on t.v but I lie all the time...
bteundeadmidget 5
Just like if it is on the Internet it is true.
syley 5
Hey now, Dr. Phil is a genius! (looks at genius meme) yep.
Boygenius50 8
Everything you see on the Internet IS true, they did a study. Here's the link: http://www.ordinaryresponse.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/trollface.png
The_Troller 14
No, GTFO. This isn't 4chan, and you aren't funny.
Boygenius50 8
Kid you blow @ CoD
ManInTheMachine 20
^Wow. You couldn't think of anything else to say (probably because you realized that your comment was stupid and now are butthurt), so you dissed his gaming abilities on CallofDuty? Ouch. Seriously, shut the **** up.
Boygenius50 8
Actually, if anything I'm dissing the fact that he chose to include his CoD stats in his FML bio #nolife
ManInTheMachine 20
81-This isn't twitter dumbass. It's FML. Save the hashtags. And so what if he chose to include it? It's none of your ******* business. If he wanted to, he could've added what his favorite **** sites are. It's his business, not yours. Again, shut the **** up.
CaptTeemo 10
#Fmlhashtagsaresick *cough*
Boygenius50 8
#fmlhashtagsaresick #maninthemachinehasabigstickuphisass #getoffyourhighhorsekid Edit: Also, you're from Georgia, therefore I win.
ManInTheMachine 20
You're funny, Boy genius. No sticks are up my ass, but I have zero tolerance for dipshits like you. As a matter of fact, I think you need a stick shoved up your ass. Now you're just trolling. Hope you're enjoying yourself fucktard. Better make sure mommy doesn't catch you talking shit over the internet.
ManInTheMachine 20
Also, the **** does living-emphasis on LIVING-in Georgia have to do with anything? I was born in Bromley, England asswipe.
Boygenius50 8
Who's gonna shove it up there, you? Bet you'd like that #****** Go back to failing geometry kid Edit: Fine, go brush your teeth.
jquiggy89 3
Boy genius must have fallen out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down....then decided to try again.
ManInTheMachine 20
More clever comments. Oh joy! Nah, I was thinking your dad would help you stick it up there. You do enjoy things up your ass right? 'Cause that's where your head seems to be. And stereotypes! How I do enjoy those! Trust me my teeth are fine, but at the rate you're going, your future will consist of brushing your teeth with toilet water. I'm done with this flamewar. Enjoy your sorry excuse for a life.
Boygenius50 8
Oh, 17 comments guy wants to come in and talk his shit #goaheadbigboy
Boygenius50 8
And MITM, you're clearly the greatest FML commented of all time, I'm sorry for not realizing it earlier :,( I respect your wisdom now.
dhall30 8
Enough with the thread hijacking lets get back on topic.
ManInTheMachine 20
^ I agree completely. Although I have already voiced my opinion, so I guess there's nothing else for me to do... *Walks away whistling and kicking can*
Marcella1016 32
Is it bad that I love watching the carnage of flame wars? Maninthemachine, I want to have your babies....
Blaqkeyeliner 6
Forget Facebook fights FML fights are so much better haha
tjv3 10
Tell her well yeah we pretend we are ancient Romans and have orgies
supermegafoxy 6
I don't know what it is about moms and Dr. Phil, but I bet they think his shit don't stank.
Life_is_FML 22
Actually, a DOCTOR. said it ( on tv) because that makes it way more valid
Pokelad 12
Sounds like politicians
COOL__Coal 12
Oh yeah everyone has to trust everything they watch on t.v.
lonkite101 14
Totslly
CaptTeemo 10
Totally ^
_ebbonyy 11
Sadly, that's how a lot of people are these days. OP's mum sounds more easily convinced then others, however :|
xoconnie 8
jesus christ thats so annoying. hopefully she'll get over that soon :/
onlychildFTW 34
Yeah especially dr Phil
fernclogger 5
Doesn't everybody believe the man in the tv?
joeytheman 10
Parents assume the worst of their kids..
Aug1508 9
Parents just need to have a little more faith in their children, seeing as they raised them.
redwednesday 11
maybe as a teen she was involved with sex parties, and after hearing Dr Phil say it she realized her child probably goes to sex parties all the time. parents always assume their child is doing what they did at that age.
Marteeny23 19
Maybe it's the fact that the parents don't have faith in themselves. Being a mom is a hard job.
The_Troller 14
46- That would explain why my dad acts like I'm a druggie.
hecallsmedarlin 7
They do always assume the worst... Because they sit back and think what THEY did at our age. They know what's up, they ain't stupid..... Ha.
AppallingRogue 2
Well then my mom must have been a complete goody goody....
darcimckeown 3
this generation doesn't really make kids look very good. it sucks for the ones who are but that's just how it is.
Marcella1016 32
If they're going to assume the worst anyway, and not believe OP when she tells them it's not true, she should just "admit" it and say she'll stop. Looks like there's no winning with her mom anyway. I hate overly dramatic parents.
Il_Maestro 6
120 - better yet, join in! As long as OP is getting in trouble for it, she might as well enjoy those sex parties. Shut up, it's foolproof logic.
SarcasticUnicorn 9
My mom assumes I get the best grades, don't have a boyfriend, and thinks I never do anything wrong. Yep, that was my mom in my age.
JackFaire 27
It's worse than that. Every generation our parents create some"fun" thing that we all must be doing and the media runs with it turning it into this big thing and using "confessions of real teens" to prove we are doing it they all get ratings boost we look at our parents like they are idiots and wonder how the hell something like what they thought up could be fun. Once we are parents the cycle repeats itself and rather than keeping in mind the bullshit we put up with as teens most parents conveniently forget and put their kids through the same shit. Here is the trick if it doesn't sound fun to you then it doesn't sound fun to them either.
BenTaz 7
must be true, tv said so :P
SystemofaBlink41 27
Yeah, they can say society's failing and getting worse and people'll believe that! wait....
Dirty_Minded_FML 2
Dr.Phil only knows this due to his past experiences
tjv3 10
Dr. Phil has never gotten laid. Well maybe he has but he probably had to pay for it
KiddNYC1O 22
I get a feeling Dr. Phil was a mack daddy.
Meowingtons500 18
Oh boy, wait until she sees Maury.
hecallsmedarlin 7
Or Jerry.
ICastillo 25
Or Steve Wilkos.
kkillaj 5
Or Chris Hansen
mvems 13
Or Tyra! I think that would be by far the most threatening.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Or Girls Gone Wild
Meowingtons500 18
Jerry's staged though. He gives actors scripts and fakes stories. :P
thisisafunnyname 12
Or Patrick... and spongebob.
reddudeover 2
"It's time for a sexy party" -Stewie
ohSNAPyall 27
Sxephil, he's so sexy.
rammy125 4
You are from Quebec so I wouldn't be suprised. That should be the least of your mom's worries
KatieKupcake4195 9
What does OP being from Quebec have to do with anything?
KatieKupcake4195 9
Yes. I see OP is from Quebec. I was just asking does OP being from Quebec mean OP is a bad person?
TheDrifter 24
Nope, just that Quebecers love 3 things. Sex, poutine and protests. As op isn't out protesting, sex parties are the only logical conclusion.
horneyhic 15
U forgot smoking and taking money from the rest of Canada
ohmandapants 17
^ screw the both of you. I'm from Quebec and I don't smoke, I don't protest and I don't participate in "sex parties". Montreal is one hell of a great city. Don't generalise. And we take money from the rest of Canada? Wow, way to talk out of your ass. We're just as much a part of this country as you people.
benhd1 14
186 Lol butthurt Québécois Your province is bad and you should feel bad
ohmandapants 17
^ stfu
guy24 9
With that logic, that means aliens are real... From the "history" channel...
rammy125 4
Wait a second..... What are you telling me?
nelds 12
Aliensguy.jpg
reddudeover 2
27 - That you've been probed, multiple times! :o
The_Troller 14
That wasn't the aliens...
SqueakyChipmunk 22
That was the hobo from across the street, not aliens.
dsbs 9
27- ALIENS!
dsbs 9
.
SystemofaBlink41 27
Who are you to say aliens AREN'T real?