Today, I finally told my roommate, who doesn't pay rent, to go get a job. He left, came back, and immediately went to my refrigerator to eat. I asked him about his job and what his pay is. Apparently, putting together a bike for a kid is a job. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my roommate and I were watching TV, and he ordered a pizza. After it was delivered, I took a slice. He yelled at me for taking his food and told me to stop mooching off him. I had to cover his rent last month and he still hasn't paid me back. FML
Today, after moving in with a friend I've known for 9 years, I found out he's going to jail soon, and refuses to work or get a new job, making me unable to pay rent as he eats all my food. FML
Today, I finally told my dad that he owes me over 400 dollars, and that I need it or else I'd get kicked out of my apartment. He only gave me 70 and said to get a better job. FML
Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML
Today, my roommate and I had to pay our first installment of rent. He's nowhere to be found. FML
Today, my roommate played a crazy April Fool's joke on me by not paying his rent this month. Good one. FML
Today, the guy I live with demanded that I get a job or start paying rent. It'd be perfectly reasonable, if he wasn't my husband, and if I hadn't just given birth to our first child. FML
Today, I texted my flatmate to ask him when he would be paying his portion of the rent, since he has told me he would be late this month. He wrote back to inform me that he had moved out last night while I was away, and that he won't be paying me anything. FML
Today, after I've been cleaning a hostel 7/7 for free accommodation for a few weeks, and the owner telling me 3 times to take a day off while he was able to do the job, I'm finally leaving. He's now (and only now) asking me to pay for the 3 nights I "didn't work for." FML
Today, I told my roommates they have to go get jobs, because I can't afford to support them or their bad habits any more. They responded by pawning all my DVDs for cash to buy cigarettes. FML
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Top comments
groupleader 7
Yes a bike job is also known as a bj.
I_Punch_Babies 7
you already know his weakness is the refrigerator. dont go grocery shopping and just get.a days worth of food each time you go out. thatll force him to get a real job.
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Comments (81)
angelofsaturn 23
Tell him to kick rocks. Does he do anything worth keeping him around for or is he blackmailing you or something?
RoseCrystal 17
I suggest an ultimatum in this situation. Either he gets a job and starts paying rent or you will throw all his stuff outside and change the locks.
lady1992 5
So kick im out.?!
josephfranks1998 5
If you work at a place that sell bikes a lot of them will have a cheaper range that you have to put together yourself and if you want for about $50 you can have the bike put together for you
bluetech 12
Kick the bum out
hateevryone 15
His bum ass is too comfortable. He ain't gon get no job.
Vicy_fml 0
kick the roommate out, op can afford it alone. find a more stable and suitable roommate, and look after op's self first!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Uh oh, dumb dumb! It's Attila the Hun Hun! You better run run!
DomDomxoxo 16
For a second I thought you guys were talking about me ):
perdix 31
#40, I'm with you. The Buttered Popcorn Dum-Dum is so bizarre it's great!