Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML
Today, my friends and I went out drinking, and luckily enough, the guy I have had a crush on for four years now was there. I tried to get drunk so that I can make a move and blame it on the alcohol. I went in to whisper my confession in his ear... only to puke on him. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML
Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML
Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally having some intimate alone time together. When we really started getting into it, he suddenly prematurely jizzed in my eye. I now need surgery and have to explain to my family how I almost lost my eye. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
askullnamedbilly 33
You gotta love the enthusiasm of guys when it comes to sex though. "I know my penis feels a lot like a wet noodle right now and you think I'm not even aroused, but don't despair yet! I know I can get that thing to work, dammit!"
kangx1 28
Maybe it was his first time and he was overly nervous? Don't be too hard on him OP as for the sticking his limp dick inside you lmao FYL
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (103)
idk_rose 25
The determination is real. Lmao #5
OrganicSistah 17
Maybe you should've sucked on it.
JKPwnage 27
Probably get some Viagra or Cialis. Good luck!
LyricaSilvan 30
Hopefully you guys can try again another time.
lovelybones37 20
At least you know he doesn't give up easily
BigbenMrJDM 12
An 80-year-old man comes home and finds his 80-year-old wife doing a handstand, naked, against a wall. He asks, "What are you doing?" She responds, "I know you can't get it up, but maybe you can drop in."
aspecialspecial 21
Reasons to have a plan, a plan that involves foreplay which I'm told is just as important if not more important than actual penetration.
Tannasgh 22
Sad...
vikky538 29
You should have given him little oral.
sethr_di 15
performance anxiety