Today, as I was walking out of a park, I bent to examine a mosquito bite I had. As I looked up, I noticed a nearby couple staring and whispering in abject horror before calling their kids over to get bug-sprayed, pointing me out. Terrified, they immediately complied. It’s not even my worst bite. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was with my kids. We saw a tiny little bug and they started freaking out. Trying to show them that bugs are not scary, I picked it up. It bit me and now I have to go to the doctor because my hand is the size of a balloon. FML
Today, it was an unusually warm day after many weeks of typical subfreezing temperatures, so my family and I went for a walk in the park. We all came back with mosquito bites. FML
Today, I got a mosquito bite under each armpit. FML
Today, a little girl pointed to the acne on my face and said to her dad, "Look at how many mosquito bites she has on her face!" FML
Today, I had to admit to an attractive coworker that it wasn't a hickey on my neck, but a mosquito bite instead. I then realized how alone I am. FML
Today, I noticed a small bite on my arm. I couldn't figure out what it came from until I saw a small insect crawling out of my bra. FML
Today, I decided to sunbathe in my backyard in an attempt to be healthy. The result? Insect bites over my body. Somehow, despite being fully clothed the entire time, my scrotum also received several bites. FML
Today, in spite of 2 different types of bug spray, underwear, and jeans, I discovered not one, but two mosquito bites on my vagina. FML
Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. FML
Today, a friend and I were walking around a festival when out of nowhere a giant bug hit me in the face. I went into instant ninja mode, screaming and flailing. When I stopped, I realized it was just a leaf and everyone was staring at me. FML
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Top comments
DLBL 23
OMG! It must be their first time outdoors. Abject horror over a bug bite? They should go back inside forever.
GoogieWithers 25
But where was the bite? Did you leave that part out on purpose? Was it on your penis or other area which would cause a family to look in abject horror?
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Comments (2)
DLBL 23
OMG! It must be their first time outdoors. Abject horror over a bug bite? They should go back inside forever.
GoogieWithers 25
But where was the bite? Did you leave that part out on purpose? Was it on your penis or other area which would cause a family to look in abject horror?