Today, my drunk neighbor informed me that if I don't keep my skunk out of his yard, he's going to call the cops. I live in town, and it's a wild skunk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I heard a noise in my garage so I grabbed a baseball bat and went to look. The skunk I stirred was actually better armed than me. FML
Today, I was drunk in a hotel lobby with some of my cousins. I went out on the patio to get some fresh air when I saw a black cat in the bushes. I went straight over to it and started to pet it. I realized too late that the black cat was actually a skunk. FML
Today, I left my bedroom window open to let in some fresh air while I slept. A skunk got in and sprayed my room. FML
Today, I found out that we have six skunks under my shed. While I was mowing the lawn, they all came out and sprayed me. FML
Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML
Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML
Today, I had my window opened slightly, without a screen behind it. I walked into the living room and smelled a skunk. I looked out the window and saw a skunk, so I quickly closed the window. However, it was too late. Before I could do so, it turned and sprayed me, a few meters of my house, and our front porch too. FML
Today, my dog ran away. It was dark, so I couldn't see very well, but I ran after him anyway. Thinking I had caught up to him, I grabbed him. It wasn't my dog. It was a skunk. FML
Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML
Today, I ran over my third skunk in over 16 days. I should probably return my driver's license to the DMV. FML
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Top comments
TomeDr 25
Let ‘em call the cops! Then he’ll get in trouble for wasting their time.
jbuckets_404 39
Tell your drunk neighbor that if he can catch your skunk in his yard, then he can keep it! [Tho I'm sure that said skunk will have something to say - or rather spray! - about that particular resolution....]
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Comments (6)
TomeDr 25
Let ‘em call the cops! Then he’ll get in trouble for wasting their time.
zoelog 10
let him call the cops. they're not going to do anything.
jbuckets_404 39
Tell your drunk neighbor that if he can catch your skunk in his yard, then he can keep it! [Tho I'm sure that said skunk will have something to say - or rather spray! - about that particular resolution....]
AmbrosiaFan 19
tell him to pick up skunk and report it to the cops. Or ignore the idiot
Sinshine 28
I don't understand what the problem is here. If it's not yours, let the neighbor call the cops. What could happen at worst? The most extreme thing that could happen would be them checking out your place to verify you don't have a pet skunk.