Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML
Today, while going to the bathroom, I noticed a smell lingering. It smelled good so I kept sniffing the air. And then it hit me. My poop! My poop smelled good and I'd been sniffing and enjoying it. FML
Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML
Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML
Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML
Today, I woke up to slight memory of my boyfriend leaving for work an hour earlier than originally planned due to "excessive sweat" in my bed. When I removed my sheets and took in a deep whiff, my olfactory receptors instantly knew that his so called "sweat" was actually his urine. FML
Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML
Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML
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Top comments
MELKOZAR 27
Somebody has been eating too much asshole.
False_Stupidity 42
Lots of things can be the cause of bad breath (it's not always poor dental hygiene), but unless you let your hubby know, then he wont be able to do anything about it.
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Comments (52)
missmisery86 11
ugh yuck thats the worst but you cant really say anything without embarassing or offending the other person. just casually offer him a mint or something
leogachi 15
It's her husband, for ***** sake. What exactly is embarrassing about your spouse telling you that your breath is bad in the privacy of your own home?
fakedsincerity 32
If you can have sex with your partner to make a child you can surely tell them (kindly) their breath smells. Jeez.
martin8337 36
Bullcrap, tell him that he has dragon breath maybe he'll brush his teeth more often, like 3 times a day.
jryan2 16
*gets told he has dragon breath,tries breathing fire*
SilverZephyr 20
#39 Same
pimpmilk69 18
that's a stinky situation.
Kailayla 29
If his breath really smells that horrid, he should probably go see a dentist
DavidMcClain 12
Gum does ease maybe
DavidMcClain 12
*disease jesus christ
irish_lad 16
Just tell him. He mightn't like to hear it but if it bothers you, you should tell him
Count_Sekcpants 13
Did he eat one of Spongebob's sundaes again?
flopstar 21
Just turn the other way & wait the night out, my prayers go to you.
stingray112 24
Wow your husband has bad breath your life must be atrocious. Believe it or not they do make toothpaste and mints for situations like these.
leogachi 15
Well aren't you a condescending little twat.
Pat5519 14
You are an idiot.
Pat5519 14
Sorry #22, I didn't mean you. #11 is the idiot and I'm sure that 11 has never been in a relationship with a "real" person based on their pic..so what do they know...
Unbearable_fml 21
Make sure he brushed his teeth better, or offer him a mint!
False_Stupidity 42
Lots of things can be the cause of bad breath (it's not always poor dental hygiene), but unless you let your hubby know, then he wont be able to do anything about it.
TacoLover1 5
Yeah I completely agree might need a professional's help