Today, I figured out why I have been feeling so drowsy and lethargic for the past week. My daughter had been slipping sleeping pills into my coffee as payback for taking her phone away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out why I can't sleep at night. My wife switched my sleep aid pills with energy pills. FML
Today, I found the cause of last night's crippling insomnia was the sleeping pill on the kitchen floor. FML
Today, my daughter has an ear infection and hasn’t slept more than 15 minutes a night for the last three days. Well tonight she was finally asleep, but I needed to take my own tablets. I had a violent coughing fit while choking on them, and woke her up. FML
Today, my adult daughter was hospitalized for severe fever, diarrhea, and fainting. The doctor couldn't find any cause other than sleep deprivation, because I started making her wake up at 7 am. I’ve never met anyone so ridiculously weak in my entire life. FML
Today, I advised my daughter to not drink a Coke before bed. She smiled at me and reassured me that it could be balanced out with sleeping pills. I'm raising a future drug addict. FML
Today, after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I woke up from a much needed nap realizing I should take my pain medication. My mother then told me she had thrown them out so I wouldn't get addicted and become a drug dealer. FML
Today, after a week of being tired and depressed, I realized my bottles for anti-depressants and muscle relaxants had gotten switched around. FML
Today, I checked the camera I set up to find out who has been stealing my prescription painkillers: my wife, my daughter, or my son. Turns out they all are. FML
Today, after being sick and not having coffee for a month, my body has invented a new way of processing caffeine: The tiredness and lethargy remains untouched, while the caffeine-jolt is converted directly into a fuzzy headache. FML
Today, I've been awake for nearly three days due to homework and my mom's wedding preparations, so I took some Adderall to keep me awake at school. I took too much, totally zoned out in class, became hopelessly fascinated by my own hand, and was accused of doing drugs. FML
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Top comments
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Time to put the hammer down. On her phone. Repeatedly!
LyricaSilvan 30
Your daughter sounds like she needs to learn some lessons about maturity. I suggest you find a way to deal with this before she steps up her game to something more harmful.
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Comments (129)
protoskore 27
I assume she's now been grounded till judgment day?
faireanjell 5
So now she's grounded without a phone right ?
Armeniangirl_fml 15
what the hell?????
Shaky_Spear 11
Try slipping her phone into your coffee. See how she enjoys a change of taste.
DylanHamer13 4
You can't cure stupidity
thesinginguy 18
Keep her phone for an entire year and ground her for a few months from everything else
Tyrax 16
First step: Have someone, possibly even the police, inform her that you were involved in a serious car accident, and didn't survive. All evidence points to you falling asleep at the wheel, and a tox screen will be performed to check for drugs or alcohol. If that doesn't straighten her ass up immediately, as in a tearful confession, or similar, she needs either incarceration or commitment to a facility. Assuming she did recant, however, she still needs psychological treatment. Her behavior is terrifying, abusive, and dangerous. It must not continue.
Sparx1_1 16
That kind of game playing will only make the situation worse.
Tyrax 16
That's not a game play. That is a demonstration of what could legitimately happen if OP's daughter doesn't quit. Alternately, OP could simply mention in conversation with her daughter that she nearly wrecked. Or that OP had a random drug test at work and may lose her job because she tested positive for drugs.
Taiiametai 8
I like my kids to know the full extent of what they are doing and make them live with the consequences. In our state, medicating someone without their consent is illegal. I would turn the kid in and let them get what they get. They would also never have a phone in my house again.
TatoeBugg 4
My best friend used to make her mom tea with a sleeping pill in it so she'd fall asleep and let us stay up late or wouldn't get up to check on us.
manuwish 9
Oh dear OP, I'm sorry that your child is a sociopath (and a dangerous one at that), but don't beat yourself up about it, it has nothing to do with parenting. Find professional help and therapy to help her gain consciousness of her actions and their consequences. Don't take this lightly OP, you could be dead now and she would be convicted of henious premeditated manslaughter..drugging people without their knowledge is a crime! Explain to her that it's not about you trying to scare her into behaving, it's about you not wanting to harbour a criminal. God bless you OP, be safe.