Today, I figured out why I have been feeling so drowsy and lethargic for the past week. My daughter had been slipping sleeping pills into my coffee as payback for taking her phone away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out why I can't sleep at night. My wife switched my sleep aid pills with energy pills. FML
Today, I found the cause of last night's crippling insomnia was the sleeping pill on the kitchen floor. FML
Today, my daughter has an ear infection and hasn’t slept more than 15 minutes a night for the last three days. Well tonight she was finally asleep, but I needed to take my own tablets. I had a violent coughing fit while choking on them, and woke her up. FML
Today, my adult daughter was hospitalized for severe fever, diarrhea, and fainting. The doctor couldn't find any cause other than sleep deprivation, because I started making her wake up at 7 am. I’ve never met anyone so ridiculously weak in my entire life. FML
Today, I advised my daughter to not drink a Coke before bed. She smiled at me and reassured me that it could be balanced out with sleeping pills. I'm raising a future drug addict. FML
Today, after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I woke up from a much needed nap realizing I should take my pain medication. My mother then told me she had thrown them out so I wouldn't get addicted and become a drug dealer. FML
Today, after a week of being tired and depressed, I realized my bottles for anti-depressants and muscle relaxants had gotten switched around. FML
Today, I checked the camera I set up to find out who has been stealing my prescription painkillers: my wife, my daughter, or my son. Turns out they all are. FML
Today, after being sick and not having coffee for a month, my body has invented a new way of processing caffeine: The tiredness and lethargy remains untouched, while the caffeine-jolt is converted directly into a fuzzy headache. FML
Today, I've been awake for nearly three days due to homework and my mom's wedding preparations, so I took some Adderall to keep me awake at school. I took too much, totally zoned out in class, became hopelessly fascinated by my own hand, and was accused of doing drugs. FML
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Top comments
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Time to put the hammer down. On her phone. Repeatedly!
LyricaSilvan 30
Your daughter sounds like she needs to learn some lessons about maturity. I suggest you find a way to deal with this before she steps up her game to something more harmful.
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Comments (129)
ezrajab 22
Smart kid I would've done the same
Sparx1_1 16
If you feel that committing a felony and risking your parents life is a realistic response then you have some pretty serious mental problems.
strugglingartist 6
I can only imagine how dangerous things were for you while you were sleepy. At the risk of sounding extreme, I'd say tell her if she does it again, she's not getting her phone back ever. And perhaps ground her for good measure.
gardenwhipped8 3
well if you have a yard, i think you need to buy a shovel. If you don't have a yard, i think someone needs to get volunteered to a city cleanup crew.
justinb97 16
Ummm your daughter might need mental help. Really? I had my fair share of disagreements with my mom and still do but drugging your parent for taking away a PHONE?! That's crazy
Camry_Girl420 18
Sounds like the phone meeds to be gone. permanently.
jlujan00_fml 9
Lol are you raising a super villain?
semperfukme 5
FYL op, FYL for having such a disrespectful, spoiled brat who doesn't know how to control her actions when things don't go her way. I say bring back corporal punishment and discipline our children right. It's evident that most children these days aren't being disciplined enough to know right from wrong. We need to re-instill manners and courtesy in today's society so we don't end up with a world full of entitled degenerates; just my opinion.
RogueWarrior869 23
Was she trying to kill you? At this point, and if it isn't the case already, if she is going to be this ridiculous over a phone then she can get a job and pay for one herself. Also, consider what others have said already about calling the cops for them to speak to her before this leads to something worse. I've heard of spoiled brats doing nasty things, but this is worse.
chosha_fml 27
I'd sell her phone after that stunt.
fader48080 10
the vicious beating, followed by a literal 3 months grounding with daily chore list to follow would leave me begging for the days my phone was taken away. I would have no money to buy sleeping pills. my parents would make my room a french prison.