Blackfell
United States
Today, I found out why I can't sleep at night. My wife switched my sleep aid pills with energy pills. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
failedparenting
Bronx, United States
Today, I figured out why I have been feeling so drowsy and lethargic for the past week. My daughter had been slipping sleeping pills into my coffee as payback for taking her phone away. FML
Who needs sleep
Netherlands
Buzzed
Today, my wife helped herself to an energy drink at 7pm, because she "felt tired", and yelled at me when I told her not to. All night, all I heard was, "Babe, I can't sleep. I'm restless. Talk to me. Babe, you're sleeping and I feel lonely. Hey babe what are you thinking about? What's going through your head?" FML
Anonymous
Oyster Bay, Australia
Missed it
Today, I found the cause of last night's crippling insomnia was the sleeping pill on the kitchen floor. FML
Druggie
Culver City, United States
Today, after a week of being tired and depressed, I realized my bottles for anti-depressants and muscle relaxants had gotten switched around. FML
Lisa
Bow, United States
Diuretics
Today, my water pills are almost identical to my sleeping pills, so not only did I not get any sleep, I had to get up every 15-30 minutes to go to the bathroom. FML
anon
Carlsbad, United States
Today, I woke up after taking the new sleeping pills I was prescribed for my insomnia. I slept for 12 hours and had 5 missed calls from my boss. FML
Anonymous
Just say no
Today, I woke up to my stomach being torn up from the inside. Barely made it to the bathroom, but of course, it wasn’t the one in my room, where I could easily change my clothes after a quick shower. After running down all my new meds, I realized it had to be my new sleep aid. It was helping too. FML
Night Owl No More
Zombie
Today, I had to explain to my gaming friends that I can't be a night owl anymore because of a major health scare where I was suddenly unable to sleep at all. I now have to take sleeping pills every night and abide by a strict sleeping schedule. My friends are bummed out, and I feel bad for them. Fuck insomnia. FML
ninithel
Hull, United Kingdom
Sleep cycled out
Today, I'm doing the school run. I went to bed early and took a sleeping pill for my insomnia so I could be productive. Even if I could sleep past my partner snoring like a cave bear with sinus infection, it turns out that my sleeping pills make me hyper. The next person who says ADHD is fun is getting slapped. FML
apparentfatty
Canada
Today, I found out that my husband thinks I'm fat when I caught him slipping diet pills into my morning smoothie. FML
Top comments
Sammansix 3
Get her back, give her lactation pills in her juice. They make her nipples produce milk.
VorpikeII 17
Jeez. Next thing you know, you'll become nocturnal, cause she added your sleep aid pills to your morning coffee. That really sucks though OP. Try finding a better hiding place?
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Comments (137)
rmullen13 4
That's horrible:(
Screwie 25
All that energy for what? To end up masturbating?
anythingmustbe 18
Maybe she feels your not using enough energy in the bedroom.
tjv3 10
Switch out her vitamins with testosterone pils and see how she likes it when she starts growing a beard
PizzaRollsss 5
Not sure but wouldn't the two pills be different? Or like do you take medication without even checking what it is?
emilyjgraham 34
102, firstly if he takes them everyday, they're in the same place and same jar it's a possibility he doesn't look anymore and secondly there are a lot of pills that look the same, they probably have some sort of similarity. FYL op, if you were taking for a medical reason she should have known better and if she's doing to bring a bit more sex into the marriage, make that happen then take them? you may even naturally fall asleep after a good session! I dunno... just hope it works out for you :)
PizzaRollsss 5
I guess your right I've only taken like 3 different pills and they've all been completely different so I just figured energy and sleeping pills should be different.
Harpy20 24
Kick that bitch.
alphabetsoup25 4
FYL
VorpikeII 17
Jeez. Next thing you know, you'll become nocturnal, cause she added your sleep aid pills to your morning coffee. That really sucks though OP. Try finding a better hiding place?
Dunvanation 4
Hey guys this may not be a bad thing. This is an excuse to go clubbing all night! Jk that sucks sorry dude.
Blackmail111 9
OR you could get back at her by switching her vibrator with a taser!
MsCowsiecow 6
I don't understand what her motive could have been... Maybe it was an accident?
raraisbang 12
68- remind me to never piss you off.
random_jay 6
Well that escalated quickly!
pandabear125 0
or find a new wife. maybe thats too extreme, lets go with the taser idea.
xii_clueless 0
Well you know, you can put all that energy into some good ass sex c;
ImaSnowman 2
Big booty b**ches:)
hahasooo 2
oh men...
ztech 0
Mhm
JackeeDawn 9
She Seems like one of those people who like to GO GO GO! And never want to rest. I'm sorry OP
TourettesGuyFTW 26
When I read go go go!, I thought of Counterstrike...
j_cat187 20
Only one more month for a modable high grade fps.
skullofdarkness 18
When I read go go go, I thought of Sonic-X
Mommyof2_91 10
I thought of the cat in the hat show.."let's go go go go, on an adventure...!"
nado13579 12
111- Gotta go fast... :3
Skeleton_fml 1
Maybe she doesn't want you to sleep...
bluekid7 5
My thoughts exactly. Take the hint OP shes giving you extra energy for it too!
Sammansix 3
Get her back, give her lactation pills in her juice. They make her nipples produce milk.
Popcornography 10
Well deduced, Watson.
Glitterhinoceros 14
Maybe replace her birth control pills with the energy pills?
Calyx_fml 22
Or a laxative.
LO388 7
13 - That's mean and considerate at the same time. She'll end up with a baby, but she'll have extra energy to take care of it.
Inheritance 10
OP she's trying to give you a hint with those pills.. Means you need to boost up your sex life.
j_cat187 20
Better plan: mix a hellish mixture of laxatives, ipecac, and LSD. Add it to her morning coffee.
pandabear125 0
and have a chance at killing her? maybe dial it down a bit.
cajekraze 7
Escalation is the only way to react to such an awesome prank
Popcornography 10
At least you won't sleep talk and reveal all your secrets :)
swankmrpancake 8
Ahh yes but the lack of sleep may leave Op ******** his pants when he sees a raccoon in his garbage bin.
bfsd42 20
Or maybe he will vigorously try to fellate himself while his girlfriend sleeps.
owo_fml 9
Pretty sure his blonde girlfriend gives good enough head for that to not be necessary. OP's wife, on the other hand...
False_Stupidity 42
So many references to other FML's in the same thread!.. its like christmas in .. um august
olpally 33
What a bitch! Is she trying to make you into an all night long sex machine? Seriously, that's ****** up though.
French_Toast_fml 3
Switch her energy pills with sleeping pills! Imagine her boss's reaction when he finds her head on her desk, dead to the world.
swankmrpancake 8
His reaction would be to fire her leaving Op as their only source of income. So in other words bad plan.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
12) your picture makes me sad.
dead_insects 18
I agree 51, its quite disgusting...
ImaSnowman 2
51 your picture makes me wanna get high as a mo fo
SqueakyChipmunk 22
12) Change your picture to actual French toast so I can nom on you.