Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to my family remodeling our (extremely) out of date bathroom. I was SUPER excited to help them get it done. I walked down the hallway and opened my bedroom door to find a huge, gaping hole in my wall and my room covered in dust. I had to sweep every surface in my room. FML
Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML
Today, we are having work done and our chimney breast has a hole where a brick is missing. Well, my husband thought it would be funny to rig up some realistic spider leg things that would poke out of the hole next to my face. I had to wash the sofa cushion because I pissed myself from fright. FML
Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML
Today, I gave myself a facial with one of those masks you leave on for a while. I busied myself by tidying my room while it dried and eventually forgot all about it. I finally remembered about it after I answered the door to the postman. Not embarassing enough? I'm a guy. FML
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML
Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML
Today, I was apparently tired enough to spray silly string under my armpits rather than deodorant. FML
Today, I reached into my wardrobe to get ready for the day, when something hairy tickled my hand. Imagine my shock seeing a fully-grown wolf spider staring me down from a coat hanger. I grabbed the can of bug spray and let him have it. Half the can later, I now need to re-wash my entire closet. Damn arachnophobia. FML
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Top comments
supahcoolperson 0
Hahaha yep, your manliness is deff gone. but don't worry, almost everybody loses their manliness when it comes to spiders, those things creep everybody out lol
AwesomeEDNathi 1
Love it
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Comments (120)
False_Stupidity 42
I don't have a problem with spiders and willingly move them along when they are in the way, but I'll still get a bit of a fright when one shows up unexpectedly, especially at face level.. I think in light of everything else you did your man card is safe OP.
False_Stupidity 42
It was a pre-meditated ambush I'm certain. Those spiders can be crafty buggers at times.
FlashBurn 13
A real man doesn't strut, and especially with 'masculinity' just saying. That just sounds like pathetically egotistical pompousness. Yeah, totally didn't see that spider coming either, did ya?
MamieJoy98 7
Heyy you never know which ones can be venimous!! DAMN SPIDERS!!!!!!!
HairyPunisher 27
Normally I'd say FYL but by using "I felt manly" and "Strutting with masculinity" in your story, i quickly lost compassion. YDI. I'm gay and I'm still the bug slayer at my grandma's house.
curlygirly1 8
Amazing man :)
LaughinStock 16
Lol the spider was like "I cut you so bad, you wish I don't cut you" :D
TechFire 25
Wow. I've never seen the votes so even.
rodnog 1
They're not so bad, and hardly even poisonous. And come on, my 60 yo mother catches them and carries them outside. That's how real men deal with spiders. If they er... don't want to look less brave than their mum...
hamtaro331 0
Spiders=worst nightmare Venomous snakes= best friend... Wtf
kateRAWR 4
SAME I LOVE SNAKES BUT HATE SPIDERS
BMC1999 0
That's how I seem to feel
Mommyof2_91 10
Same here, haaaate spiders.. But i think snakes are awesome.