Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to my family remodeling our (extremely) out of date bathroom. I was SUPER excited to help them get it done. I walked down the hallway and opened my bedroom door to find a huge, gaping hole in my wall and my room covered in dust. I had to sweep every surface in my room. FML
Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML
Today, we are having work done and our chimney breast has a hole where a brick is missing. Well, my husband thought it would be funny to rig up some realistic spider leg things that would poke out of the hole next to my face. I had to wash the sofa cushion because I pissed myself from fright. FML
Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML
Today, I gave myself a facial with one of those masks you leave on for a while. I busied myself by tidying my room while it dried and eventually forgot all about it. I finally remembered about it after I answered the door to the postman. Not embarassing enough? I'm a guy. FML
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML
Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML
Today, I was apparently tired enough to spray silly string under my armpits rather than deodorant. FML
Today, I reached into my wardrobe to get ready for the day, when something hairy tickled my hand. Imagine my shock seeing a fully-grown wolf spider staring me down from a coat hanger. I grabbed the can of bug spray and let him have it. Half the can later, I now need to re-wash my entire closet. Damn arachnophobia. FML
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Top comments
supahcoolperson 0
Hahaha yep, your manliness is deff gone. but don't worry, almost everybody loses their manliness when it comes to spiders, those things creep everybody out lol
AwesomeEDNathi 1
Love it
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Comments (120)
AwesomeEDNathi 1
Love it
RaggleFrock 13
Me too, I think it's cute!
Roevera 14
Why were you strutting your masculinity at your grandmas house? :P
gamercanadian 11
Weird how he has exactly the same FYL's and YDI votes.
aaahhhfire21 0
Wow pls for the sake of your fellow men don't refer to yourself as a man
Rachel1987 4
Omg 29 that's exactly my question lol
mike3775 39
#29 has it right, why would anyone need to show off to grandma? I could say "your life sucks" if you were trying to impress a GF's relatives, but not your own grandma.
blackheart24 10
You need to hand over your man card.
klovemachine 24
69 = fail. Man cards cannot be returned. Everyone has fears :D
tjv3 10
There is no shame in this, well except for the yelp. Next time make it a manly arrggghhh
Melnee 5
29-Helping his grandma fix up her house, I assume.
PlayWithElmo 7
Hey, look! Dumb blonde!
itscuzimshort 0
now the spider has your man card.
supahcoolperson 0
Hahaha yep, your manliness is deff gone. but don't worry, almost everybody loses their manliness when it comes to spiders, those things creep everybody out lol
Almandine 7
I actually like spiders and don't find them creepy in the slightest. Some of them are dangerous, but they don't bother me. Roaches are a whole different story though. I have a phobia of them.
writergirl23 19
Haha I once creeped some boys in my class out. They found a dead cockroach in the school library while we were having a library hour in English, and tried in a failed attempt to get me to notice them by dropping it on the book I was reading. Didn't look up. Instead I flicked it off and continued reading. Tried it again and i chucked it behind me, keeping my eyes down. Heard a scream, then laughter. Turns out one if the other boys was, lol!
Llama_Face89 34
Spiders don't bother me...but I turn into a little girl around wasps. Stepped on a nest as a child and they flew up my pants... There are certain places where you'll never forget the trauma of multiple wasp stings...
ThisIsMyReign 4
19 - I did that in sandals when I was 3. Oh, the horror and pain but, I did learn that tobacco is good for soaking up venom.
aaahhhfire21 0
How can some u ppl actually be afraid of somethin 1 : 100 th your size you can crush and kill them without a second thought
LeahLovesYou123 0
They are so ugly!!
DeadxManxWalking 27
Plus roaches can survive nukes.
thiscrazything 1
^46 Because they are creepy and they bite and sting, and even worse, they know where you sleep.
syraxthered 5
The phobias can stem from a series of problems, Amy dealing with childhood. However, many people are afraid because it's an unknown, is the roach in front of me one poisonous? Is the spider that is at the corner dangerous? Many harmless species have a type who is dangerous to humans. Plus, with the ease of bringing animals from one area to a new one, you never know if the creature in front of you isn't a poisonous variety from the Amazon
Llama_Face89 34
46- if you got stung in the balls when you were 8 you'd be afraid of wasps too...
aaahhhfire21 0
Been stung more times in my life then I can count still not afraid of something I can play god with
Llama_Face89 34
Congrats. You're a big man on the Internet.
emmaa3451 11
LOL guess you weren't strutting after that then..
vcapelo 19
To get a shock has nothing to do with manliness!
hthelittleone 10
Yelping like a little girl does
youjustmademelol 4
What's wrong with how girls sound sexist. Why do you want to feel like a man? You are extremely sexist douche
Dojan 16
76 - I think you dropped some particles.
TimeDisposalEngi 14
LOL
youjustmademelol 4
Particles? I meant it as whats the difference between feeling like a man and a woman. Why was op even strutting at his grandmas?
almost23 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
So the definition of manliness now is to see anything even remotely "womanly" as something to be ashamed of? You're an ass.
afdude87 6
You're an ass for automatically categorizing someone screaming at a spider as "womanly", when there was no mention that he was being womanly, a girlyman, etc. Nice try.
SayPeanuts 29
Actually it does say womanly.
afdude87 6
Yeah, high pitched. Where does it say he was actually being womanly?
SayPeanuts 29
"only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner"
Bagel09 11
Awesome CD by Billy Talent ^^^^^%
proud2fly 7
7- of course someone had to pull the sexism card and try to ruin a perfectly good Fml. What do ya say we just return to the kitchen? I'm sure some of these boys would like a sandwich.
afdude87 6
You misunderstood me. It wasn't derogatory towards women, op just said he screamed like a girl..high pitched. Guys don't normally scream in a high pitched tone. Not that acting like a woman is a bad thing. I'm in the military, I know some tough ass chicks, and I respect them. Not that they act "manly" at work, women typically just have higher pitched voices than we do.
devilcb 5
Ha, 44.. It was funny
desireev 18
7- Don't start with the ultra-feminist crap. It's perfectly normal and fine and completely okay for a man to express his 'manliness'. And it's perfectly okay to feel the way he did when he saw the spider. Men were put on this earth to protect women and their children. He didn't mean any harm mentioning his moment of the lesser masculinity. He wasn't ashamed. He was just saying that it's okay for women to feel that way. Doubting your masculinity because of a spider is okay. Doesn't make women or womanly acts something to be ashamed of. We are supposed to be the ones who are scared and men are supposed to be our protectors. He wasn't being negative towards women. You're just being a sensitive feminist.
uprising_fml 0
59: I don't need any goddamn man to protect me. I have a gun, and I sure as hell would use it if needed. and by the way, feminists have a reason for being 'pysco' or sensitive. we live in a world that is still patriarchal and where women are still fighting to be seen as equal. we can go 'pysco feminist' if you can ignorantly go 'pysco anti-feminist'.
NoraT_fml 6
70- You're a ******* whiny bitch. We girls will never be equal. Why? Because the god damn sec you get treated like a man you'll scream "OMG IM A GIRL WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT!!!" Take your girls need equal treatment and get the hell out of here.
uprising_fml 0
82- it's not about being treated like a man. it's about being treated like a person. I understand there is a stereotype of feminist women, but there are also real feminist women. and I am one of them. so you can take your rude, stereotypical, misogynistic bullshit and shove it up your ass. I will always push for equality among gender, race and sexual orientation, and there is nothing anyone can say or call me that will stop me from doing that.
NoraT_fml 6
92- Yet you're the rude **** who's talking bullshit about the girls who are telling you that YOURE being rude. there will never be equality because there will always be raceist ext. be a **** for you're goal. I'm sure you'll love the end of the road when everyone hates you. I get pushing for it. But you have NO right to be a total bitch to everyone who's not on you're side. that's not how you get people to back you up and that's how you turn those who were with you away from you. Enjoy makeing more people hate girls who want equal rights!!
idontknowyou123 0
Would gotten away with it if you didnt tell us.
xiaoxaio 5
but now the internet has ur secret and once the internet has somthing..its there forever
DontClickOnMe 28
Well, spiders can be very scary sometimes.. They just appear out of nowhere. Those sneaky bastards!
yahoowizard 16
Scarier when they disappear afterwards
eltapatio16 5
I don't blame you! After a day of hard work, relaxing in the shower and to have a spider pop out of nowhere. Yeah, I don't blame you.
writergirl23 19
And did anyone notice? *Looks around* Nope. Manliness returned