Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to my family remodeling our (extremely) out of date bathroom. I was SUPER excited to help them get it done. I walked down the hallway and opened my bedroom door to find a huge, gaping hole in my wall and my room covered in dust. I had to sweep every surface in my room. FML
Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML
Today, we are having work done and our chimney breast has a hole where a brick is missing. Well, my husband thought it would be funny to rig up some realistic spider leg things that would poke out of the hole next to my face. I had to wash the sofa cushion because I pissed myself from fright. FML
Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML
Today, I gave myself a facial with one of those masks you leave on for a while. I busied myself by tidying my room while it dried and eventually forgot all about it. I finally remembered about it after I answered the door to the postman. Not embarassing enough? I'm a guy. FML
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML
Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML
Today, I was apparently tired enough to spray silly string under my armpits rather than deodorant. FML
Today, I reached into my wardrobe to get ready for the day, when something hairy tickled my hand. Imagine my shock seeing a fully-grown wolf spider staring me down from a coat hanger. I grabbed the can of bug spray and let him have it. Half the can later, I now need to re-wash my entire closet. Damn arachnophobia. FML
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Top comments
supahcoolperson 0
Hahaha yep, your manliness is deff gone. but don't worry, almost everybody loses their manliness when it comes to spiders, those things creep everybody out lol
AwesomeEDNathi 1
Love it
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Comments (120)
umrchop 2
Dude my wife does all that stuff. Spiders included.
smm08899 0
I am just trying to figure out how you were feeling extra manly by doing things that my 9 year old daughter does all the time. She's not scared of spiders either.
Jeff_Himself182 1
What a douchebag. Spackle with Grandma? Yeah, that's cute.
KrayKrayGurl117 7
This made me laugh cuz this is what happens to most guys... It's all apart of the circle of life ;D hahaha
laurenmacias 0
I should have taken my pants off after that to just have a chance at getting the manliness back
BMC1999 0
That sounds like something my mom would do, I hope your not too embarrassed
Lumbeeman86 6
I sorry but I must revoke your man card. You may apply for a new one when you grow a pair of balls.
hateevryone 15
Hahahaha all it takes is a spider.
Linaelle 14
I just love the way this FML is written ^^
anarchistpunk 3
Now im sure the spider is strutting back to his web in masculinity thinking, "scared the shit out of a ************ like a boss!"