Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking to my car after grocery shopping when I dropped my heavy-ass bag, which then ripped. Everything spilled out, and while I was picking it up, a kind stranger ran over to help me… by accidentally stepping on and smashing my carton of eggs. FML
Today, my car got acquainted with about 3 dozen eggs. FML
Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML
Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML
Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML
Today, I was walking out of the grocery store when out of nowhere, a car backing up pretty fast sped down the parking lot and hit me, causing me to fall down and drop all of my groceries. The woman jumped out of her car, not to help me, but to carefully check her bumper for scratches. FML
Today, as I was sitting in my car in a mall parking lot, an old couple got into their new van and backed right into me. The man got out and in broken english decided it was no big deal. He turned to leave and tried to pat my back, but smacked my ass instead. I was hit by a car, and spanked for it. FML
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Top comments
Mauskau 36
I'm not sure what is worse... having a hard boiled egg thrown at you or raw eggs.
Sandman1917 5
I hope you got the plate number. That's assault and inexcusable.
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Comments (94)
Edumcg 24
I'm assuming they did not choose a random target for that, be careful OP. And I hope that didn't hurt too much :/
jaredb650 2
You know that if you had a gun on you, if the first time around you warned them that you would shoot and they didn't stop, you're clear to cap their asses, because that's considered assault.
lolfood 24
Howtobasic?
beautifu1_lies 5
.-.
tehdarkness 21
Hahah awww. That sucks but it sure is funny for us readers!
Caelophile 8
A car that throws eggs? Brilliant.
False_Stupidity 42
Sounds like an eggcellant start to you day. Personally I would have thrown one back or a rock but maybe that's going to eggstremes.
dmbfan31 7
Circus freaks?!?!
worldclassrager 41
Better than raw right?
rawlings123 17
Are you joking? hard boiled eggs don't break so that makes them hurt so much more than raw eggs.
edibot42 3
"Drive-by eggings, plaguing LA"