Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking to my car after grocery shopping when I dropped my heavy-ass bag, which then ripped. Everything spilled out, and while I was picking it up, a kind stranger ran over to help me… by accidentally stepping on and smashing my carton of eggs. FML
Today, my car got acquainted with about 3 dozen eggs. FML
Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML
Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML
Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML
Today, I was walking out of the grocery store when out of nowhere, a car backing up pretty fast sped down the parking lot and hit me, causing me to fall down and drop all of my groceries. The woman jumped out of her car, not to help me, but to carefully check her bumper for scratches. FML
Today, as I was sitting in my car in a mall parking lot, an old couple got into their new van and backed right into me. The man got out and in broken english decided it was no big deal. He turned to leave and tried to pat my back, but smacked my ass instead. I was hit by a car, and spanked for it. FML
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Top comments
Mauskau 36
I'm not sure what is worse... having a hard boiled egg thrown at you or raw eggs.
Sandman1917 5
I hope you got the plate number. That's assault and inexcusable.
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Comments (94)
siggy_mcsigx 22
Can I get a car that throws things? :D
TheBadAndGnarly 19
Just be glad it was an egg not a firework, which is what happened to me, only difference was I was in my car when the one in front threw it at me.
LittleSushi_fml 13
That sucks, hopefully you called the police.
BSIrishman 6
TIL cars have arms
JudgeComrade 17
And that, kids, is why you get off the road and onto the sidewalk.
davincidasecond 24
Holy shit, that must hurt like a bitch. This is one of the only fml's I've actually cringed at. I'm sorry OP. :(
icepick23 12
Good lord! How big is your butt?
MaySFML 4
Howw.
shinikageWolf 15
I would have totally thrown pancakes back at them. "BREAKFAST FOOD FIGHT!"
dawnimus 21
Cheer up OP, in the immortal words of Finn: "pain is like a hickey from the universe, and everybody wants to get with the universe!"