Today, I finally heard a woman tell me "I've never seen one so big before!" Too bad it was my dentist talking about one of my cavities. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said, "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML
Today, my dentist told me I have 8 cavities. I'd jokingly bragged about never having a single cavity for 25 years right before he started checking. He laughed and said, "Well, that lucky streak is over!" then went on to drill the shit out of my teeth. I still can't feel the left side of my face. FML
Today, I met my new dentist. His teeth are worse than mine. FML
Today, my dentist told me I had a good tongue. That's the best compliment I've gotten in months. FML
Today, I got the most action I've had in about 3 years when my dentist pressed her boobs against the top of my head to fill my cavities. I really need to get me a girlfriend. FML
Today, I went to the dentist to get my wisdom teeth removed. The surgeon took a better X-ray to see what he was dealing with before he got started. When he came back into the room, he started to laugh and told me it was my lucky day because in the X-rays he found 2 big extra wisdom teeth. FML
Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity fixed for the first time. The dentist showed me the drill and other tools, and referred to them as things like "Mr. Bumpy Brush". I'm 15. She thought I was "special". FML
Today, I had to go to the dentist to have a cavity filled. Around halfway through the procedure, something broke the silence in the room. It was my dentist, who had farted. I had to smell his rancid flatulence for around the next five minutes. All the while, I had to keep my mouth wide open. FML
Today, I went to my new dentist and before he started looking at my teeth, I told him my previous dentist had never found a single thing wrong with my teeth. After looking around, he chuckled humourlessly and called my last dentist idiotic. I now have a $580 bill and a root canal next week. FML
Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
zAstonish 20
Time to start flossing.
imkool136 22
Well, I'm trying to think of a clever comment but all I have is you need to take care of your teeth.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (52)
zAstonish 20
Time to start flossing.
bonnniej 16
Given OP's name, I think he realised that...
jdibartolo1 12
#1 thank you captain obvious
iSativa 24
Yeah I'll bet those dentists like big black things haha
QQMorePlox 18
Wow, just wow.
HarshD9619 34
Tried too hard man
Saraj07 18
Actually most dentists prefer to see healthy teeth.
PickledSweets 22
Well, look on the bright side, at least she was impressed.
Jdlove2 20
Not in a good way
brand125 17
.
MortenM 17
I'm sure OP was hoping he'd be doing the drilling after impressing her
imkool136 22
Well, I'm trying to think of a clever comment but all I have is you need to take care of your teeth.
MrSassypants 34
Dental hygiene is no laughing matter. Unless you're using nitrous oxide. Then things that you say after getting your wisdom teeth removed is hilarious.
buckdharma 38
It's so big she has to take it out! Yes, yes, yes, YES!!! That'll be $160.00.
MrConcise 35
More like the dentist needs to get some filling for the cavity. ;)
benjamn 24
Time to drill and fill. };)
R2Y2 22
Your time shall come, man.
Mermaidhead 13
it sounds like she likes you. play your cards right and maybe you'll get to fill her cavities one day :D
feven 32
"You know what else is big?" *wink*
TheBelt 19
THAT DICK
mine___turtles10 13
DEEZ NUTS
VitalDistance 14
I suggest water flossing if its that bad
love_me_electric 20
Not sure why 20 is thumbed down. If you ask any dentist/dental hygienist about water flossing most of them will tell you it's a waste of money. It's better than doing nothing, but not by much.
wakemeupplease 21
That escalated quickly!!!