dukefan302

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Dukefan302's favorite FMLs

By teeth - 10/08/2011 17:00 - United States

Today, my aunt had to smuggle me some regular toothpaste. Why? My mom isn't letting anyone in our house use anything but "Coral Paste." There are actually lumps of coral in it. FML

agreeclassic 40 464

vote type 1 2 837

By Anonymous - 09/07/2013 16:07 - United States - Katy

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

agreeclassic 56 764

vote type 1 23 102

Baby you can't drive my car

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Burnham

Today, I found out why my bank balance is so unusually low. It turns out that I bought a car in Indonesia. I've never been to Indonesia. FML

agreeclassic 59 738

vote type 1 3 619

Salad days

By ugh - 04/07/2013 18:28 - South Africa - Durban

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

agreeclassic 64 700

vote type 1 5 193

By DEATHBYEX1LE - 04/03/2013 05:01 - Australia

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML

agreeclassic 23 396

vote type 1 48 367

DEATHBYEX1LE app_comment_confession_title

DEATHBYEX1LE 11

Monday 4 March 2013 21:59

I know the difference, I just made a simple mistake....