Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend is furious with me because while I was watching her various fish for two weeks, I failed to feed her favorite fish and it died. The reason I didn't take care of it was because she never told me she had it, that it was in her room unlike the rest of the fish, so I never saw it. FML
Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previous one. She seemed nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wasted, spilled beer all over my bed, and blew chunks into my fish tank. FML
Today, I bought a new Siamese Fighting Fish. I was so happy with my new fish so I bought him an expensive lovely bowl, some weeds, and a toy for the bowl. I left the room to get the fish food. When I returned, the fish was gone, and the cat was sitting on the table. FML
Today, my little sister put me in charge of keeping her fighting fish alive. It would've been an easy task if it weren't for my crazy ex-boyfriend drunkenly forcing his way into my house, vomiting into the fishbowl and killing the fish. Only ten more hours until my family gets home. FML
Today, I found out that my old roommate used to clean her goldfish bowl with my toothbrush. We lived together for six months. FML
Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML
Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML
Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML
Today, my mom was criticizing how I can't handle taking care of any living thing because I'm too irresponsible. We had a huge argument so I went back to my apartment, only to find that my fish had died. I forgot I had a fish. FML
Today, I was so bored that I filmed my goldfish while it was eating. FML
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Top comments
timetoshare 0
Your roommate is a psycho watch crminal minds animal cruelty is step one
fijianchick 0
How long did it take?
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Comments (114)
sailorzoe 14
Why were you "excited" to show her your fish?
shmalls1 10
Now I gonna ask my roommate about her pets. I'm scared to even bring my pet fish. Thanks. Good luck
wildboyzrule 7
separate bowl
nekrodoll 0
what a ****** up bitch. i hope she dies for animal cruelty
Bless23 0
Buy a Piranha then lets see who laughs last.
rawrisforsami 13
so true.
betabyte 1
Penis
bringingsexybak 0
Mm fish. How yummy;)
MandathePanda24 0
Not about the story but more like takingsexybak. Wow
bringingsexybak 0
At least I'm not manda the panda
divadro102 16
I have 23 fish. 10 marine, 13 freshwater. About 30 snails and 4 sharks. 2 marine, 2 fresh. They love me, i love them. And Dave Chapelle feeds them chicken once a month
captainfalcon7 0
well.. she's gonna be a good mom.