Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of piss all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML
Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML
Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML
Today, I had to pee in a cup. The cup almost overflowed. My first instinct was to drink some so it didn't spill. FML
Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML
Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML
Today, I had to get a urine analysis done for my doctor. I take medicine that makes me a little shaky sometimes. Guess who spilled their pee all over themselves while trying to put the lid on. FML
Today, the lab wouldn't let me do my pre-employment drug test because they had no time when I had to pee really bad. They signed me in to do other blood work I needed, but when I asked to use the bathroom, they said it was for drug testing only. I peed myself in the lobby and couldn't do the blood test either. FML
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
Today, I had to take a drug test for my new job, which I desperately need and which took me over a year to land. I got a shy bladder and couldn't pee. They marked me as non-compliant and revoked the job offer. FML
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Top comments
Gift_fml 0
haha, thats funny
kingtz 6
1 girl 1 cup: the golden shower edition?
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Comments (131)
cole86 0
haha
Gift_fml 0
haha, thats funny
juliahockey 0
that's not funny. that's disgusting.
InsidiousChild 0
it made me smile.
juliahockey 0
smile? it would be disgusting if pee was all over you, not smile-worthy.
juliahockey 0
smile? that's just weird. if pee was overflowing, it would probably be more gross then funny.
the_pan1c 5
it sounds kike something id do... :(
staceysgenesis16 0
hahaha i can imagine ur face while doing this LMAO thats just amazing
Docbee 11
i think i saw this fml before...?
soccerluv05 0
sounds to me like someone can't control their bladder haha
nygunns1 0
I had sorta the same problem. haha I had to take a drug test for my parents, I was mad nervous knowing I'll fail and I stood there for like 5 minutes cause I was to scared to pee. once it started it didn't stop...
gangstathug 0
ydi for being a dirty drug user
MuffyStJacques 0
I would fail a drug test. THC and MDMA would be found and I'd be dead.
JJ123456 0
sucks
AsianCookie247 14
hahaha that's ****** greaaat.
elainelovesyou 7
#1 - agreed. haha.
irokyoursox 6
57 don't take pictures with your shirt off if you don't have muscles
182crazyking 9
If they drug tested me the'd find deadly amounts of Charlie Sheen.
nxlcorey 0
# 87 - WIN
zakkyzebra 11
85, who the **** are you to tell people what kind of pictures they can or cannot take when you don't have a picture of yourself? You don't need muscles to take a picture with your shirt off. Imagine if that's the rule EVERYONE went by. I would find pictures of topless girls revolting, then.
staceysgenesis16 0
85 please shut up .. its not about him taking a picture with his shirt off .. thats not the point of FML .. please go away .. people can do watever they want .. obviously hes just comfertable with his body ..
Takador 3
thats retarded couldnt you just keep peeing in the toilet?
pksparrow53 0
117 I agree
Kennzz 0
Yeah, you pee over the toilet and simply move the cup when it's full and finish peeing.
octinate 17
bladder control fail
aquariusangel420 0
how do you know it's a dude lol
afdude87 6
weird...
enonymous 9
I had problems like this once. went in for a drug test and accidentally took a shit in the cup. Although they found no drugs try recommended more fiber.
enonymous 9
They*
dirtyblond 4
Hahahahhahah oh maann!..
FatElie 0
It's almost impossible to stop it once it starts
mydesire 5
ha thats both funny and disgusting. fyl
xXshadowrollerXx 6
I hope you cleaned that up, you dirty young man.
jandera 0
who says it's a man?
deeroseryan 8
exactly!
cookie_3008 4
Are you serious?? Of course it is a man!! There is no way a doctor would come into the stall with a girl.. *eye roll*. Even if the doctor was a woman, she would know how awkward it would be. It's just simple logic.
Sprocket 5
What logic? My logic says that a doctor would follow a patient in the case of a drug test. male or female. Y'know, so they can't switch their pee with a sample they brought from pre-drug times.
Tuesdays76 0
Ya that's just too easy to cheat that test.
Eggers 2
Admit it, you just wanted to get the doctor back.
maa_rico 4
Light a joint buddy, soon you'll fell all better.
RPattzs_gurl 0
^pic win xD
MrGold 0
pic fail
girlylaxfool 3
sucker
hotchick90037 3
well that's what you get for doing drugs!
MrBobby_fml 7
Cept he woulda got drug tested whether he was doing drugs or not.... that's what a test is for... to find out. Anyways, yar, can people not STOP themselves peeing mid-stream? I get a bit of dribble, so stop just before you need! I don't find my uncontrollable penis rules me... when he wants to pee, he PEES! No matter what I'm doing! No....
man_in_black08 28
^^cutie
IHunt 0
that's what I was thinking
ryanriola 0
64 lol
WBUCKLEY 0
haha ew. braces
IHeartJimi02 0
13, a lot of people have to get tested before they start a job. Getting tested doesn't automatically mean that op is using.
4XxXo_OxXx4 0
that's what I was thinking, too.
hotchick90037 3
your right I completely agree with you i just mean that he shouldn't be nervous unless he was doing drugs
Emmy_The_Great 2
I hope you're a man. (: