Today, I dropped my remote behind the bed and went to reach for it. Instead of the remote, I grabbed hold of a rat carcass that must have got in when builders were working in my bathroom several weeks ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, I discovered why there was such a horrible stench in my bedroom. My cat had a secret stash of shit under my dresser. Along with the carcass of a rat. FML
Today, I woke up and went into the bathroom and noticed a dark mass in the toilet. Thinking someone took a dump and didn't flush, I approached the toilet ready to dispose of it. That's when I noticed its whiskers and ears. It was a rat, and it was alive. FML
Today, I discovered that the rancid stench in my bathroom was a decaying carcass of a mouse in my toilet tank. FML
Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML
Today, after my house almost got broken into last week, when I heard some noises in the kitchen I went to investigate. I saw a huge rat run across my floor, and nearly peed myself thinking it was an intruder. FML
Today, I was carrying several bags of groceries up the stairs to my third story apartment when I saw a giant rat climbing down the wall towards me. I screamed and dropped my groceries, which went over the rail and landed on the bottom floor, destroying them all. The rat? Just a big leaf. FML
Today, I noticed my shower drain wasn't draining well. I cleaned it out, thinking it was just a rat's nest of hair. Wrong. It was an actual dead rat. FML
Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML
Today I opened the door for my cat and he brought in a rat with him. Now the rat is hiding in my house. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
No, you dropped the remote on the rat and killed it, you evil rat killer. It was just foraging for food to feed its family, and you assassinated it. I don't know how you'll sleep at night knowing you killed an innocent creature, just so you could be a lazy couch potato and watch reruns of "Law and Order" all night. Asshole.
perdix 31
How long were you pointing the rat corpse at the TV and squeezing it until you realized it wasn't the remote?
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Comments (87)
jmac317 0
thats just gross
gooBUZZ 0
Ever think about the rats feelings? Maybe it thinks that OP was gross, thus causing it to die. Be more thoughtful next time, sir.
ortega_fml 0
YDI for living in an apartment.
fisheatsbear 6
who said anything about an apartment? 13 fails
Marvin_Android 0
Sounds like the rat had the right idea. I mean ending it all, of course. Existence is so pointless and meaningless anyway, and life brings nothing but pain, suffering, and mind-crushing monotony. That TV remote you were reaching for? It's but a temporary distraction. I hope what you grabbed instead has sparked some thinking in your ape-brain. Life. Don't talk to me about life.
maggieroxs10797 0
how did u NOT smell it??
jewban 3
eat it for lunch?
OPrime9 0
maybe It wasn't the builders lmao
brennboo 3
Why didn't you notice the smell before? Anywho that's gross OP I'd suggest washing your hands... Multiple times :)
bman134 0
that's what I was thinking
purple_zebras_ 0
right how could he not smell rotting rat
xxmollyxx 25
I don't really know how I couldn't smell it, but I assure you that my room doesn't/didn't smell bad. Maybe the dog brought in the carcass from a closet or something and it was only in my room for a short while. Let's hope so :)
isallwaysme 27
maybe OP has no sense of smell like me
FMLephant 2
Late night snack?
Garytt 0
goes nice with salad :)
Selena_is_back 7
or cheese.
Innocent_Bitch 0
I've heard that the sandwiches are nice. :]
iSitt 0
Tabasco fixes everything
thejacl 0
Dirty.
fisheatsbear 6
punch it! solves everything
zapzapp 0
eww!
shanie123 10
fyl ewww
fourtwenty69 0
That's Just Disgusting. Did You Throw it Back Behind Your Bed?
knibbsy 4
You Know, I'm Really Not Sure What Happened. But I Suppose It's A Possibility That The OP Wa- hOLD uP, wHY aRE yOU tYPING lIKE tHIS? a dECOMPOSING pAIR oF sANDALS tHAT bELONGED tO cAESAR wOULD bE eASIER tO uNDERSTAND tHAN tHIS aWKWARD cAPITALIZATION.
Doortje 30
That is so nasty. I'm so scared of rats and mice :| This FML gave me a cold shiver just reading it :| FYL indeed.
DocBastard 40
No, you dropped the remote on the rat and killed it, you evil rat killer. It was just foraging for food to feed its family, and you assassinated it. I don't know how you'll sleep at night knowing you killed an innocent creature, just so you could be a lazy couch potato and watch reruns of "Law and Order" all night. Asshole.
zapzapp 0
haha! :)
KaleidoscopePope 0
there be mighty fine pickens for rat soup tonight, we gonna eat gooood!!!
BWill9014 4
I lol'd
ShadyFTW1 0
So did I.