Today, I saw my doc about the painful swelling I've had in my arm all week. He seemed totally out of it, and ended up telling me it's all in my head, despite the swelling. When I respectfully suggested it might be a blood issue, he just said, "Nah". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after months of random vomiting with no apparent cause, I finally got some tests done. The doctor says there's nothing wrong with me and that it's all just in my head. Great. FML
Today, I went to the doctor with some serious physical symptoms that amount to being effectively disabled. She didn’t even ask any questions or examine me before telling me it was all purely psychological. I barely managed to convince her to at least order some blood tests, as a formality. FML
Today, I went to a pain specialist to get help with my chronic pain. He did not diagnose anything or discuss causes. He then said, "Good luck with that" as I left. Of course, I still got billed. FML
Today, my doctor called with my test results, which seem to tell him that there's absolutely nothing wrong with me. I'm still sitting here with an appendage that I'd swear was dispensing napalm, but now I have a $500 bill to go with it. FML
Today, I have been dealing with painful lymphedema and I'd finally got a doctor's appointment, but they called and cancelled last minute. Here's to another week being in pain… FML
Today, I went to see a doctor about some of the memory problems I've been having. After the appointment, I could barely remember a thing he told me. FML
Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML
Today, I visited my new doctor for the migraines I've been getting lately. Right from the start, I could have sworn the guy was on drugs. He just listened to my heartbeat, said, "Well Dave, it sounds like gallstones" and said they'll pass naturally. FML
Today, despite me getting my period every two weeks and bleeding heavily enough that I faint if I move too fast, my doctor told me that it's normal and to just "take it easy". FML
Today, I went to the hospital for crippling back pain that made it impossible to walk. The doctor was more interested in telling me off for not taking a pill that he admitted doesn't help acute pain. He then gave me an injection that wore off in an hour, and sent me home, telling me to take over the counter meds. FML
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Top comments
kiran_fml 5
Time to change doctors.
hotPinklipstick 24
Seems like someone has been writing off his own prescriptions.
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Comments (123)
kiran_fml 5
Time to change doctors.
Guren 0
Did he smell like weed?
Swiftly 0
May I suggest Doc Bastard?
FMLshark 12
He'd be a doctor to say a lump on a woman's breast may either be all in her head or a third boob.
kyarush 10
Malpractice. You could have owned yourself a hospital :D
taco_bender 12
Are you a artist OP? I heard once a artist dies his paintings are doubled in value. Maybe he wants to make some extra cash.
AlphaPrice 7
Maybe he had an overdose on some medical marijuana he prescribed to himself
emba_fml 13
...did you just use the words overdose and marijuana in the same sentence? wrong.
Swiftly 0
58 I don't think thats possible
SignUpisntcool 3
Everyone forgot dr.Mime.
SignUpisntcool 3
I hate this I look dumb because it didn't show my first comment so I reposted it and then it showed it!
cc_the_beast 6
Unfortunately we don't have medical marijuana in aus. If he was stoned it would be on the friendly street variety.
Sports_guy3 28
Time 2 change 2 DocBastard.
Bcfrmkc816 17
Not hard to figure that one out. Hope you went to emergency room after that
krad204 21
What a useless doctor.
ICATiger 13
DocBasterd? He still owes me a free colonoscopy!!!!!
RBntM 10
The doctor sounds unprofessional!
skitzofunia88 8
I'm still waitin on DocBastards Anal Violator 5000.
farhil 14
I'm going to join the thumbs down parade. YAAAAY
hotPinklipstick 24
Seems like someone has been writing off his own prescriptions.
BB14_fml 0
I was gonna say something like that! :D
KimmieKat 0
Not to late to find another doctor that doesn't get high on the job...
grmnxsensati0n 4
whattttt mannn??? u b trippin
KimmieKat 0
LOL
Sports_guy3 28
I recommend DocBastard.
KaziX_fml 4
Yes, you should change the doctor.
gantzlord 5
Wow, that's a great idea you came up with.
IamSharkWeek 0
You heard the man, its all in your head!
ladyLALAA 29
Yeah OP, I'm sure it's nothing.
HeartOfLead 24
He's only under the impression the you've been chocking the ole' chicken rather hard lately. In all seriousness, if it doesn't go away send a complaint to his superior/boss saying that he hasn't taken you seriously.
daisyismydog 3
Resort to medical marijuana
AkshaySauce 5
Oh I'll take some Jamaican Dream, and a bag of that purple stuff!
The_Troller 14
I'm sure OP's doctor would be able to acquire some for him...
nerobluerose 10
Sounds like one fun doctor.
syki 22
Maybe, but 'fun' is not the first positive quality I'd choose in someone I go to solve *any* problem, much less one to do with my health. We only get one body each, y'know?
RoseTintMyWorld 8
But what if you were having a problem having fun?
DarkHelmet 10
Time to switch to the other arm then playa. Stop overworking the right arm!
StoryOfTheYear 15
Hundred bucks says he printed off his own diploma from med school.
DoctorWhooves13 5
Haha on your profile it says you are a grammar nazi: Yet I did find some errors xP
xxdark 3
It does say that they are half a grammar nazi and that they do make mistakes of their own sometimes. Read thoroughly before criticising, or you may end up looking like a complete douche. Your comment would be Exhibit A, hahaha.
StoryOfTheYear 15
40- Way to quote my profile. I do appreciate the view though. :D
IStoleTheCookies 16
*views StoryOfTheYear's profile*