Today, my roommate asked me to lock the door as we left our place. I told her to use my keys, because my hands were full. Afterwards, she and her boyfriend set off out of town for the next couple of days. She forgot to give me back my keys. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML
Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML
Today, I couldn't find my key so I sat against the wall to wait for my roommate to get home. I fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I could hear her inside. She chose not to wake me up and let me in. FML
Today, after a long bike-ride home, I thought my roommate was being a douche and holding the door shut to our apartment. After about ten minutes of shoulder-slamming and name calling, I discovered that I just wasn't turning the key all the way, which I found out when my roomie came home. FML
Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML
Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML
Today, I changed the locks on my apartment so my crazy ex girlfriend couldn't get in. I went to her house to return her house key. I accidentally gave her the key to my new locks, and can't find her old house key. Now I need her to come let me in to my own house. FML
Today, my roommate asked me for help finding her wallet because it’s been lost for days. I helped a bit, but it never turned up. I left to go to my boyfriend’s house as I'd planned. Guess whose wallet I found laying on the ground next to his night-stand? And why it was there… FML
Today, I locked my keys in the house. I panicked so hard and immediately started kicking the door, desperate to get my keys. My boyfriend, who I forgot was staying over, woke up and opened the door right as I kicked it, and the door smashed into his face. FML
Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Go hunt them down to retrieve your keys. They might reward your tenacity with a threesome.
grandpaearthling 2
bet now you are wishing you'd put down the sex doll and helped your roommate. now you and blow up barbie are stuck all alone for two days without keys. guess your plan worked out in the end. sweet deal
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Comments (48)
Obliviousair 0
Get new friends D:
xGUMMYBEARSx 0
don't tell me what to do!!!! D:
gooBUZZ 0
Don't tell me what to do either! D:
DishHeads 9
don't tell them what to do !!!! though you can tell me
PuppiesFTW 5
Don't tell them what to do, except for DishHeads, and don't tell me what to do and what not to do.D:
ShadowSneaker360 16
You get new friends!! xD
hiddydiddy 0
Wellsleeeponthestreet
brennboo 3
whyarewetalkinglikethis?iguessthespacebarranaway:(
mathew17986g 2
ummm did your space bar break?
hiddydiddy 0
nah actually on my iphone the lowest line is broken, so signs and space take a lot of time also its funniertotalklikethis:)
paigeykkins 0
time to head back to your moms! :D
alaaloo_fml_fml 0
Ummm call the landlord?
alaaloo_fml_fml 0
Ohmygosh, I know :D I am pretty sure OP hadn't thought of that!
DocBastard 40
Right. I'm pretty sure OP ran around flailing her arms and screaming like a banshee until she resorted to pounding on the door until her knuckles bled and her hands fell off, finally resigning to living out the rest of her days as a handless prostitute who could not even give a handjob. Or, she probably did think of calling the landlord. Whatever.
alaaloo_fml_fml 0
37- Hahaha.
All_For_Love 0
Weekend crashing on someones couch? I think so :D
unidentified_sta 5
Well if you can post this online, you are not completely shit outta luck.
alaaloo_fml_fml 0
Exactly. Not much of an FML.. is it?
unidentified_sta 5
Not exactly a great series of events... but at least it could be definitely worse.
iSitt 0
call your roommate and make the drive back.
mathew17986g 2
you dont have a spare key?
nikkibeez 0
if op does it's probably inside.
SceneRaver 0
haha couch surf!
schwancy 2
I'm betting your car keys were probably attached too? Yep that blows.
BandddGeekkk 0
time to break some windows. (:
LuxAeterna_fml 0
Some? wouldn't you only need to break one?
turturkeykey 0
No, you must smash as many as possible. Itz da law.